One Hell of a Birthday
by SplendiferGoddess
Summary: Yeah, so I explained the horrible ending, because people kept asking. answered it all in one go. Please read it if you're one of the ones upset about the ending...
1. It's Happened Before!

One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
for Crimson Starlight. Happy 16th! [blows one of those birthday kazoo-thingies]  
  
========  
Chapter One: It's happened before?  
========  
Once apon a time there was a girl named Diane. She was going to turn sixteen soon. She was pretty excited, and was even going to make a birthday comic for her and her best friend's online sprite comic.  
  
Once apon the same time there was a girl named Ayla. She was Diane's best friend. She really wanted to hang out with Diane on Diane's birthday, but Ayla and her family had just moved four provinces away to the coast, and obviously she couldn't.  
  
On the night before Diane's birthday, the two girls went to sleep peacefully.The next morning they woke up with sunlight blaring in their eyes. They groaned and rolled over. Their eyes snapped open. They had distinctively heard *two* groans - not just their own. They jumped up and looked around, finding themselves face to face.  
  
Diane gaped. Ayla shrieked. Then they both squeeled and hugged.  
  
When they were done squeeling and hugging and generally disturbing the peace, they looked around and found that they were in the middle of the woods. Diane raised an eyebrow at Ayla, who just shrugged. Then they noticed their clothing.  
  
They were both wearing plain green dresses and brown cloth corset-like vests.  
  
"What the...?" Diane said, touching her dress. It seemed almost cottoney, but not quite. Maybe a thin wool. It was difficult to tell. Diane made a face - she wasn't exactly partial to dresses. Ayla was grinning. She loved clothes like that.  
  
"This is so *cool*!" she squeaked. "Woods, and weird clothes, and you, and eee! This is awesome!" She twirled around and laughed. Diane shook her head at her, grinning.  
  
"You're bonkers, Ayla," she said with a laugh. "I think we need to figure out where we are and how we got here." Suddenly, Ayla's eyes got wide, and her mouth opened in a little 'o'. She was staring at something behind Diane. Diane turned around and her face took on the same expression.  
  
Standing before her, was a tall, blonde man, holding a bow with the arrow pointed straight at her head. Diane did a double-take. No, not man... Elf? She did a triple-take.   
  
"Haldir?" she squeaked. The elf raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You are correct," he stated, not shifting his position. "Since you seem to know my name, I think it only fair that you shall divulge yours." He shifted his gaze to Ayla, who was grinning widely now. "Your friend," he said, turning back to Diane. "Is she not sane?" Diane snorted and Ayla scowled.  
  
"Perfectly sane, thank you very much," Ayla huffed, crossing her arms. Haldir smirked.  
  
"Indeed," he commented. "Now, your names."  
  
"My name is Diane," said Diane. "And this," she motioned towards Ayla, who was once again grinning, "is my close friend, Ayla."  
  
Haldir slowly lowered his bow, since the two girls seemed to pose no threat. They carried no weapons - in fact, all they seemed to have was the clothing on their backs.  
  
"What are you doing in the Realm of the Lady of the Wood?" he asked.  
  
"Oooooh," said Ayla. "We're in Lothlorien?" Haldir nodded, surprised at her words. "Cool!" she squealed, and jumped up and down for a moment.  
  
"You are certain she is completely sane?" Haldir asked Diane. Diane grinned.  
  
"Sometimes even I wonder myself, but I'm pretty certain she is sane," she answered, poking Ayla in the ribs. Ayla stopped jumping up and down.  
  
"How is it that you came into Lothlorien without knowing it?" Haldir asked the two girls. Diane shrugged.  
  
"That's what I'd like to know," Ayla said. "Especially considering that last night, Diane and I weren't even in the same parts of the country. We just woke up here." Suddenly, something occurred to Ayla. She turned to Diane with a grin on her face. "Dude!" she cried. "Happy birthday!" Diane smiled, remembering.  
  
"It is your birthday?" Haldir asked. Diane nodded.  
  
"I'm sixteen," she explained. Haldir smiled.  
  
"You are but a child," he said. Diane stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"Gee, thanks," she mumbled. "I feel grown-up enough." Haldir smiled again.  
  
"You must forgive me my rudeness," he apologised. "But I am many years old, and you are but children compared to me."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Diane said, smiling a bit. 'Zat mean he's an old geezer?' she mouthed to Ayla, who giggled. Haldir rolled his eyes.  
  
---  
  
A while later, Diane and Ayla had follwoed Haldir and they soon found themselves fed and watered. They hadn't realised until they began eating that they were hungry - they hadn't, after all, had breakfast.  
  
When they finished eating, Haldir asked if they knew where they were going and how to get there. Diane and Ayla both shook their heads 'no'.  
  
"Although," Diane said slowly. "I would like to know how to get to Rivendell... I mean, Lothlorien's beautiful, but I mean, if we're here in Middle-Earth, then I wanna see Rivendell, too..." Ayla nodded.  
  
Haldir gave them a confused look. "I am, in fact, leaving for Rivendell today," he announced. Diane and Ayla sat up straighter. "If you would like to accompany me, you are welcome to." Ayla grinned. Diane opened her mouth, and then closed it again.  
  
"Yes! Of course we will accompany you!" Ayla said, speaking for both herself and Diane. Diane nodded in agreement.  
  
"Very well," said Haldir. "Come with me, we will need to find steeds for you both, as I myself will be riding." He stopped. "I assume you both know how to ride a horse?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, we can both ride," Ayla said. "Although Diane can ride better than I - she's had more practice. But I can ride well enough." Haldir nodded.  
  
"Good," he said. "Now follow me."  
  
Diane and Ayla stood up and followed Haldir away from the table that they had eaten at. As they left, a few Elves scurried by, picking up their dishes and whisking them away. Ayla and Diane shot each other looks, and both fought to hide smiles.  
  
A few hours later, they were both paired up with some very beautiful horses. Diane's was a not-too-tall, silvery white stallion, with one smokey stocking on his left hind leg. Ayla's was a very tall, smokey-grey mare with a thin strip of white down the middle of her face.  
  
Within an hour of being paired with their horses, the three of them, Diane, Ayla, and Haldir, were off. Ayla and Diane couldn't believe that they were going to see Rivendell. Heck, they couldn't believe that they had eaten breakfast in Lothlorien, and Diane was certain that she had caught a glimpse of Galadriel through some trees.   
  
This was turning out to be a rather interesting birthday.  
  
---  
  
They traveled for many days - Diane lost count after a while, and Ayla hadn't even bothered to start - and within the first little while, the two formed a friendship with Haldir. He had some very interesting tales to tell, what with his being thousands of years old and all, and he was very interested in the girls' story.  
  
The first night that they were camped out, Diane and Ayla had had a discussion. They both knew that the question of where they were from would soon arise, and they both knew what might happen if they told the truth - that they were from another world, another dimension, if you will - what might happen. But they also knew that it would be rather difficult to lie blatantly to Haldir - he was rather difficult to lie to.  
  
They ended up agreeing to tell him the truth. After all, from all the stories they had read - and written - Haldir always seemed to figure it out in the end anyways, so why bother even trying to hide it?  
  
At first, he did not believe them, but as they went on to explain Earth as they knew it, with details galore, he found it harder and harder to not believe them.  
  
They finally reached Rivendell, and Ayla and Diane were in complete awe. Haldir seemed to find their facial expressions as they rode up to the courtyard rather amusing, and couldn't help but laugh. They dismounted in the courtyard and some Elves led their horses away to the stables.  
  
As they walked through the House of Elrond, they craned their necks in as many directions as possible, sometimes, trying to look everywhere at once. They were soon led to the rooms they would be staying in while in Rivendell, and they wre pleased to find them right next to each other. Haldir announced that he would be in the Hall of Fire later on. At the moment, he had matters to discuss with Lord Elrond.  
  
When Haldir had left, Diane and Ayla plopped onto Ayla's bed. They looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles that lasted a good fifteen minutes.  
  
When they had stopped, and caught their breath, they laid down on their backs on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  
  
"This is *so* cool," Ayla said.   
  
"Yeah, I know," Diane agreed. "I think this is before the Ring started to cause problems," she said after a moment.  
  
"Do you think it's even before Bilbo found it?" Ayla asked. Diane shrugged.  
  
"Could be," she replied. Then she screwed her face up thoughtfully.  
  
"What?" Ayla asked.  
  
"I wonder how old Frodo is right now," she said. Ayla giggled. "What?" Diane asked.  
  
"I just got a picture of baby!Frodo, circa Elijah Wood," Ayla explained, still giggling. Diane chuckled.  
  
"Heh," she said. "That's definately an image for the memory banks," she joked. Ayla nodded, grinning.  
  
After a little while they began to feel hungry, and left the room in search of the dinner hall. They stopped a passing Elf and asked for directions, and having them, set off and promptly got lost.  
  
"How come everyone seems to get lost in Rivendell?" Diane grumbled, feeling irritabley hungry. Ayla shrugged. Suddebly though, they found themselves at the dining hall.  
  
"Yay!" Ayla said, clapping.  
  
---  
  
After eating, the two wandered around until they found the Hall of Fire. They were overwhelmed by the sounds that caressed their ears as they entered. Singing and laughing and talking and general merry-making - all in Elvish. It was beautiful.  
  
Haldir soon spotted them, standing at the entrance of the hall, staring about them, wide eyed and open mouthed. He made his way over to them, grinning.  
  
"Diane! Ayla!" he said, as he neared them. They looked over at him and smiled.  
  
"This is beautiful!" Diane exclaimed when he had reached them. Ayla nodded. Haldir grinned.  
  
"It is indeed," he agreed. "Please, come, Lord Elrond would like to meet you." Ayla dn Diane looked at each other, their eyes wide.  
  
"Seriously?" Ayla asked. Haldir nodded. Ayla squeaked and the two girls followed Haldir to the other side of the room, where Lord Elrond was speaking with his daughter, Arwen.  
  
"Lord Elrond, Lady Arwen," Haldir announced when they reached him. "These are the ladies I spoke to you of. Diane, and Ayla," he introduced, motioning to the girls, respectively as he announced their names. Diane and I curtsied, rather clumsily, and both fought back squeaks of excitement.   
  
"Diane, Ayla," Arwen said, nodding to each girl. Elrond followed suit.  
  
"You do not have titles?" he asked. Diane and Ayla shook their heads, afraid to speak, lest they say something stupid. "Haldir has given me a recount of how you came to be here in our Middle-Earth. I have to say, it is a rather fantastic tale." Diane and Ayla nodded. Haldir nudged Diane in the foot with his own. Diane coughed.  
  
"Uh, yes. It, uh, is, uh, isn't it?" she said, stumbling over the words. Elrond raised an eyebrow at her. Diane grinned sheepishly.  
  
"I assure you, my Lord, that it is all completely true," Ayla said, finally overcoming her speechlessness. Diane gave her a grateful look. "It may sound unbelievable," Ayla went on, "but it is true, to the last detail." Elrond laughed.  
  
"Oh, I believe you," he said. "In fact, it has happened before. Why, not two years ago, a girl from your world fell through the ceiling of this very hall."  
  
Diane and Ayla gaped at him. "Wow," Diane mumbled.  
  
"Indeed," Ayla agreed.  
  
=================  
  
Well... heh. Happy Birthday, CS... wouldn't it be cool if this actually happened?  
  
Hope you all enjoyed this. I've never written a LotR fic before, so don't be alarmed [if i fall head over feet - er, sorry]...  
  
it might be a little weird, lol, but it should be amusing. Crimson Starlight seems to think it is, lol.  
  
If im a little bit slow on updating, thats because my female parental unit has decreased my ammount of time spent on the computer to an hour a day. so bleh. ive got more chapters written, just might take me a little longer to get them up.  
  
but it shouldn't be too bad. im writing them by hand, so all i have to do is type them up. anyways, thats enough for Author's Notes! enjoy the fic,  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	2. Keep Ayla Away from Glorfindel!

One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
for Crimson Starlight. Happy 16th!  
  
Chapter two! yay! It's here!  
  
========  
Chapter Two: Keep Ayla Away from Glorfindel.  
========  
  
So there were Diane and Ayla, two girls from twenty-first century Earth, somehow transported into Middle Earth, a land so unlike their own.  
  
Only to find that it had been done before.  
  
"Damn," said Ayla. It was later that night and she and Diane were in her bedroom, sitting on the bed.  
  
"Well," huffed Diane. "That was quite anti-climactic."  
  
"Yes," Ayla said. "It was." She stood up and walked over to the dresser, and pulled out a nightgown. "Rather depressing, if you ask me." Diane nodded and turned her head away as Ayla stripped off her dress and replaced it with the nightgown, placing her dress on the chair beside the dresser. "Wonder what time it is," she said, plopping back down on the bed.  
  
Diane shrugged. "I haven't seen any clocks around, or sundials," she said. Ayla rolled her eyes.  
  
"Figures," she said. "Elves aren't exactly worried about how much time they're spending are they? I mean, they have thousands of years to worry about that."  
  
"Hundreds of thousands," Diane pointed out.  
  
"Hundreds of millions even."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
The two spoke for a short while longer and then said goodnight; Diane went to her own bedroom and the two fell asleep quickly.  
  
---  
  
The next morning, Diane and Ayla set out for the dining hall and found it within the hour. They were feeling quite proud of themselves for this and were grinning like lunatics when Haldir joined them. They got their breakfast a few minutes later and were soon talking and eating and generally enjoying themselves.  
  
"How long are you staying in Rivendell?" Ayla asked.  
  
"Only a short while," Haldir replied. "Then I have some buisiness in Mirkwood to attend to."  
  
"Okay, but how long in Human terms, Haldir?" Diane asked smiling. "A short while to us is like, days or weeks, a short while to you is like..." she trailed off, not sure.  
  
"A few months," he said, laughing. "That's more than enough time for you to explore all of Rivendell." He paused. "I assume that you *will* be joining me in Mirkwood?" Ayla laughed.  
  
"Do you have to ask?" Diane laughed.  
  
"Well, I assumed you would be coming," said Haldir, "you have spoken so much of wanting to explore Middle Earth, but I was just confirming."  
  
Breakfast was soon over and Ayla announced that she wanted to explore the gardens. Haldir was going to give Diane a tour of the Lord Elrond's House, so they said goodbye and went their seperate ways.  
  
A few hours later, Diane was walking through the gardens, calling out Ayla's name. She suddenly heard a bit of scurrying a few feet away in some trees. She walked up and found Ayla hastily trying to straighten her dress and flatten her hair. Diane raised an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Have you been making out with someone?" she asked, walking up and pulling a twig from Ayla's straight brown hair. Ayla grinned sheepishly and Diane rolled her eyes. "Who was it?" Ayla coughed. "Pardon?" Diane asked.  
  
"Quite possibly it was, uh..." she mumbled the name unintelligebly.  
  
"Could you speak a bit slower? I'm not a chipmunk," Diane said.  
  
"Oh for God's sake, it was Glorfindel," Ayla mumbled. Diane stared at her in shock for a moment and then shook her head.  
  
"Ayla, Ayla, Ayla," she mumbled, and sighed. "There are plenty of people around for you to make-out with," she scolded. "And Glorfindel is not one of them.Glorfindel is *not* on the menu." She eyed Ayla. "Okay?"  
  
Ayla grumbled a reply. "It won't happen again."  
  
"At least, not as long as I'm around," Diane said. Ayla smirked. "Now c'mon," Diane said. "It's almost lunchtime, and I can kind of sort of find my way around now!" Ayla gave her a look. "Also, Haldir is waiting for us in the courtyard. He'll be joining us for lunch," Diane grinned. Ayla laughed.  
  
When they reached Haldir he was looking a bit perplexed.  
  
"Something wrong?" Ayla asked as they walked up to him.  
  
"Glorfindel just ran by, looking a bit frazzled," he explained. Ayla coughed and Diane albowed her in the ribs. "Anyways," Haldir went on, seemingly unaware of what had just happened, "come on. I believe we are all hungry."  
  
As they walked along, Ayla turned to Diane. "He said frazzled," she said, and Diane burst out laughing. Haldir shook his head and chuckled, and Ayla grinned, quite amused at the perturbed look a passing Elf had just given them when Diane burst out.  
  
---  
  
That evening, Diane convinced Ayla to go for a ride with her, although she didn't need much convincing. Ayla loved horses and loved riding. They ran into Haldir in the stables, and invited him to come along. Soon they were soon off, galloping through the pastures.  
  
They stopped when they came to a small brook, and Diane and Ayla were soon sitting on the bank, paddling their feet in the cool water. They were exclaiming over the scenery and the brook, and Haldir chuckled.  
  
"I do not understand your awe," he said, sitting down next to them and slipping his own feet into the water. "From what you have told me of your world, it is very similar to this." He waved his hand at their surroundings.  
  
"Well, yeah," said Diane, grinning. "It is to some extent. But most of us - me included - live in cities that are all houses and shops and there is practically no wildlife."  
  
"So to be in a place like this," Ayla said, "is like, amazing!" Haldir shook his head in amazement.  
  
"The race of man has always perplexed me," he said with a smile.  
  
"Us, too," Diane said. Haldir laughed.  
  
---  
  
Diane, Ayla, and Haldir did not return to the house until much later, when the girls were beginning to feel tired.  
  
"Dude, it'd be cool to not have to sleep every night," mused Ayla as they trotted back through the pastures the way they had came. Diane grinned.  
  
"Totally," she agreed. Haldir smiled.  
  
"Lord Elrond is expecting a visitor tomorrow," he said suddenly, piquing both the girls' interest.  
  
"Oh? Who is it?" Diane asked.  
  
"Gandalf the Grey," he replied. Ayla's eyes lit up.  
  
"Really? Cool!" she exclaimed, nearly jumping, and then remembering she was on a horse. "Will we get to meet him?"  
  
"No doubt he will be eager to meet you," Haldir replied with a chuckle. Diane and Ayla grinned at each other.  
  
They were going to meet Gandalf!  
  
----------  
  
kay, so its not an excessively long chap. the next chappy is good, though, os i think it makes up for it. yay!  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	3. Pervy Old Haldir

I fixed all those stupid spelling mistakes. my fingers have a habit of getting away from me when im typing - it being 60 degrees Farenheit or lower doesnt help, either, but bleh. Theyre fixed!  
  
One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
for Crimson Starlight. Happy 16th!  
  
Chapter Three! Oh yeah, oh yeah, who's da grrrl? i'm da grrl! oh ye-  
  
...  
  
i'll stop now...  
  
dude. i was watching FotR. and leggy's line came up: a shadow and a threat has been forming in my mind  
  
the first thing that popped out of my mouth? ITS NOT A TUMAH!  
  
========  
Chapter Three: Pervy Old Haldir  
========  
  
The next morning, Diane and Ayla woke up giddy and excited. They met up with Haldir in the dining hall and he informed them that Gandalf had arrived earlier that morning, with the breaking of dawn. He told them that once they had finished eating he would take them to meet him.  
[A/N: mwa, had to throw in that bit of the breaking of dawn, it sounds so cool, lol]  
  
Needless to say, that breakfast was the shortest meal they had had their entire stay in Rivendell. When they had finished, Haldir took them to the library. Diane had seen it the day before, when Haldir had given her a tour of Elrond's house, and had fallen in love with room. Ayla was doing so now.  
  
She stared at the room in complete awe. "I love this library," she said. "It's awesome! It's beautiful!" She walked over to one of the shelves and ran her hands down the spine of one of the thicker books. "Look at all these books!" she whispered.  
  
"It is impressive, isn't it?"  
  
Diane and Ayla spun around. "Gandalf!" Diane said.  
  
"Can I hug you?" Ayla asked. Gandalf and Haldir looked at Ayla in utter surprise, and Gandalf nodded hestitantly. Ayla grinned, hugged him tight and then backed away, grinning madly. "I hugged Gandalf!" she said to Diane excitedly. Diane just shook her head in disbelief. She should have expected something like that to happen.  
  
"These are the young women I told you of, Mirthrandir," Haldir told Gandalf. Gandalf chuckled.  
  
"I gathered that, Haldir," he replied. Haldir smiled.  
  
"I'm Diane," said Diane. "And the lunatic who hugged you is Ayla."  
  
"It is wonderful to meet you!" Gandalf said. "Come! Let's sit and talk!"  
  
And talk they did. Gandalf wanted to learn all he could of Earth and it's customs. Apparently, none of the other magically transported Earthlings had wanted to share any info on Earth. Diane and Ayla, on the other hand, happily did so. They felt that as long as they dind't say anything about the rings of power, or Sauron, or anything like that, nothing weird would happen to Middle-Earth's timeline, or chain of events. They even drew an oddly misshapen, haphazard, lopsided map of Earth for Gandalf. They assured him as he poured over it that they had forgotten at least half the countries, and even if they hadn't they wouldn't be able to pronounce, let alone spell the names.  
  
They spent all afternoon with Gandalf, and then had dinner with him, Haldir and Elrond. After the girls' initial meeting with Elrond, they had quickly gotten over their awe and had thrown all respectable 'around-Lord-Elrond' behaviour out the proverbial window, They were rather chatty that evening, much to the amusement of the elves and the old wizard.  
  
After dinner, Gandalf retired to his room, and Ayla to hers. Elrond had matters to attend to, and Diane and Haldir decided to stay up for a little while longer and talk.  
  
When Haldir walked Diane back to her room, even Diane, a human without the powers of perception that an elf has, could tell that he was nervous about something.  
  
"What is wrong, Haldir?" she asked when they reached her bedroom door.  
  
Suddenly, he kissed her. Just leaned foreward and planted a smooch directly onto her unsuspecting lips. Diane was shocked. Haldir pulled back and immediately began to apologise.  
  
"I am sorry," he said. "I should not have do-"  
  
He was cut off by Diane, who had taken hold of his head and pulled him foreward, reuniting their lips. They finally pulled away.  
  
"Goodness," Haldir mumbled.  
  
"Indeed," Diane nodded. They cast a glance at each other.  
  
Five minutes later, they were up against Diane's bedroom door, kissing rather fiercely. Somebody coughed. They broke apart and looked up, sheepishly, at the person who had interupted them.  
  
Ayla stood a few feet away, her bedroom door open. Her arms were crossed and her left foot was tapping. She gave Diane a meaningful look. Diane quickly said goodnight and retreated into her bedroom. Ayla turned her gaze to Haldir. She squinted at him.  
  
"I guess I'll be going now," he said awkwardly.  
  
"Yes," Ayla agreed. Haldir took off. Ayla rolled her eyes and went back into her room to go back to sleep.  
  
---  
  
The next morning, Diane knocked on Ayla's door and walked in before Ayla had a chance to answer.   
  
"Good morning!" she said. A pillow narrowly missed her head and soared out into the hallway, clipping a passing elf on the shoulder. She glared at Diane, who shrugged, and retrieved the pillow. She closed the bedroom door and tossed the pillow back onto Ayla's bed. "C'mon," she said. "It's a beautiful day! Get up."  
  
"If I got up early every beautiful day in Rivendell, I would never be able to sleep in," Ayla grumbled. Fifteen minutes later, she was out of bed and dressed in a long, flowey, shimmery, purple dress with short sleeves. Diane smiled. Much as she disliked dresses, her best friend sure had a knack for wearing and looking good in them.  
  
"You know," Ayla said as she pulled some of her hair back with a clip, "I was in the middle of a really cool dream last ngiht, but I ended up waking up before I could finish it."  
  
"Oh? What woke you up?" Diane asked.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. It coulda been the *slurping* that was resonating through the walls." Diane blushed and Ayla laughed. "You do realise that he's like, really, really, *really* old?"  
  
"He's also a really, really, *really* good kisser," Diane retorted, smirking. Ayla burst out laughing.  
  
"'Nuff said, then!" she giggled. Diane grinned.  
  
After that, they walked down to the dining hall - they finally knew the way - and sat down to enjoy their breakfast. Soon after they entered, Haldir meandered in. Diane's face turned bright red, and she tried to hide it in her shirt.(She generally wore the men's clothes the elves provided instead of the dresses.)  
  
Haldir was kind enough not to comment, and instead the three discussed other things. After they finished their breakfasts, they decided to go for a walk through the grounds. They met Gandalf in the courtyard and invited him to come with them.  
  
They spent the better part of the morning exploring, and on Diane and Ayla's part, discovering lots about Rivendell. They had finally decided to head back, and were about half way there when Diane stopped abruptly.  
  
She had spotted a baby bunny huddled by a tree. There was bits of fur and blood everywhere. "It's family was probably eaten by a fox," Haldir said. "It will starve to death within a few days."  
  
"Not if I can help it," Diane said. She bent down and scooped him up; he was too scared to hop away. "I'll call him Bubbles," she announced. Ayla grinned, and the four proceeded on to the house, Ayla and Diane cooing over Bubbles the entire way.  
  
When they got back to the house, Diane and Ayla went up to Diane's room to set up a spot for Bubbles to reside in. They had their lunch brought up to them, along with some food for Bubbles. After lunch, Ayla said she was going to go riding, and Diane said goodbye to her, planning on staying behind to keep an eye on Bubbles and make sure that she was okay.  
  
A short while after Ayla left, Haldir stopped by.  
  
"Heya, Haldir!" Diane said, when he came in. She was sitting on the bed cuddling Bubbles. He walked over to her and sat down in the chair next to the bed. He smiled at the small bunny.  
  
"Your compassion is commendable," he said. Diane grinned and kept stroking Bubbles. "Diane," he said, "last night was..." he stopped, unsure of how to continue. Diane peered at him. "I care about you," he said finally. Diane smiled.  
  
"I care about you too, Haldir," she said, putting Bubbles on the floor. She hopped away and found a piece of lettuce by her enclosure, which she happily began to munch on. Haldir smiled back at Diane, who patted the spot on the bed next to her.  
  
When he had sat down, Diane leaned foreward and kissed him lightly. He gently pulled her to him and they leaned back on the bed. His hands came up around her back and Diane grinned inwardly.  
  
---  
  
Half an hour later, and still fully clothed, mind you, Haldir left Diane's room with a slightly goofy grin on his face. Diane was happily napping on her bed with Bubbles on the pillow next to her head.  
  
=================  
  
thats a rather... odd... chapter, but like it. its not excessively long, but i find it amusing. feedback welcome and revered. :D  
  
has anybody else noticed that saying Haldir's name is almost like saying "Hal, dear,". I have half a mind to get Diane to start calling him Hal. mwa. that'd be amusing. "My elven boyfriend goes by Hal,"  
  
[giggle]  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	4. To Thranduil's Place We Go!

I'd like to give my respects to the family of the Columbia's crew, and to the souls of the crew. This was a tragedy, that I hope does not happen again. Goddess bless them on their way to the afterlife.  
  
One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
booya! and another chapter bites the dust! [that song was on the radio when i woke up this morning... you know? queen's 'another one bites the dust'? bleh. it was scary]  
  
And yes, in direct response to a review i recieved today [the 31st]! It is *indeed* another fic about people getting sucked into a fandom! It's a humour! It's a spoof! It's funny! That's why I wrote it!  
  
Well, also because it was Crimson Starlight's bday on the 28th, and this is part of her bday prezzy from me... so anyways - on with the chap!  
  
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Chapter Four: To Thranduil's Place We Go!  
==========  
  
Over the next few months, Diane and Haldir became very close - sometimes to the point where, Ayla felt like either gagging, gagging one or both of them, or both. When Diane wasn't with Haldir, she was with Ayla, Gandalf, or the some combination of the three friends.  
  
Gandalf, too, became a close friend of the girls, but he formed a stronger bond with Ayla, as he spent more time with her than Diane, who spent much of her time with Haldir. The two - Gandalf and Ayla - spent a lot of time in the library, reading together and talking about all sorts of things. Gandalf was even teaching Ayla to read and speak Elvish. Diane was learning some from Haldir.  
  
It turned out that Gandalf was also going to be going to Mirkwood, so they decided that he would come with them.  
  
"What is this?" Diane had asked. "Does everybody just kind of gravitate from Rivendell to Mirkwood?"  
  
"Yes," Gandalf had answered seriously. Then he had laughed.  
  
"I think you've been spending to much time with Ayla," Diane had laughed. "She's rubbing off on you." Ayla had just grinned.  
  
So, finally the day of their departure was apon them. Diane and Ayla couldn't help but notice that Lord Elrond seemed rather relieved to see the two of them going. They had had a few run-ins with the Elf over their stay - nothing serious, but enough to irritate him. The girls had noticed that when he was aggravated, he did this funny eye twitch-thing, and it sent them into mad fits of giggles every time they saw it, so they bugged him constantly, just to see the eye twitch. Ayla had also pointed out that he had the funniest facial expressions, and the two found it very fun to see them change, so they did everything in their power to evoke different expressions.  
  
Most of the time they only got irritation, boredom, or an incredilous 'why-me?' look.  
  
So anyways, they set off immediately after breakfast. Gandalf was riding the horse he had arrived on, Broniatha, Diane and Ayla were on their horses from Lothlorien, Carmë[art] and Lav[lick], respectively, and Haldir was on his horse, Alcarinquë["The Glorious", name of a star/planet ].  
  
---  
  
They traveled many miles before lunch, although they were in no hurry. The company was content to canter along quietly enjoying the sights, sounds, and just generally enjoying themselves.  
  
They stopped for lunch in clearing by a stream. They eagerly dug in to the food.  
  
"Haldir," Ayla said. "I have a question."  
  
"Yes?" he replied.  
  
"How come your eyebrows don't match your haircolour?"  
  
Diane giggled. Haldir shot her a look and then turned to Ayla. "Pardon me?" he asked.  
  
"Your eyebrows," Ayla repeated. "They don't match your -"  
  
"I *heard* what you said," he cut her off, quite sharply. I looked taken aback.  
  
"I was just wondering," she mumbled. "No need to get snarky." She huffed and turned back to her food. Haldir placed his nearly empty dish down and stood up.  
  
"I think I will go take a look around the woods for a little while. We should set off again in a short while." He stalked off into the trees. Gandalf was seemingly oblivious to it all and continued to munch away at his food. Diane rolled her eyes and got up.  
  
"I'll go after him," she said. Ayla gave her an apologetic look. "Don't worry, Ayla. You and I both know he's got a stick up his butt sometimes." Ayla couldn't help but snort. She nodded and Diane took off in the direction that Haldir had gone.  
  
Ayla turned to Gandalf. "You don't seem too surprised at what happened," she said.  
  
"I have no reason to be," he replied. "You and Haldir have very different personalities. It is not surprising that the two of you will clash from time to time. Besides, I find it rather amusing when he, as Diane says, has a 'stick up his butt'." Ayla laughed and rolled her eyes, turning back to her food.  
  
---  
  
"Haldir?" Diane was walking along through the woods. "Haldir, come on. She didn't mean to offend you." A few moments later, she found him, sitting on a log, whittling a flute out of a small branch. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. She peered up at him and stuck out her lower lip, batting her lashes. "Haldir?" she said, making full use of the 'puppy-dog' face. He looked down at her and smiled softly.  
  
"You make me laugh, do you know?" he said, putting down the carving and the knife. He reached up to her face and ran a finger over a lock of her short blonde hair. She smiled. "You are beautiful," he whispered, leaning foreward and softly kissing her. He pulled back and she sat up straight.  
  
"Don't let Ayla get to you," she said, taking his left hand in her right. She started to trace the contours of the back of his hand with her left hand. "She gets like that sometimes. Doesn't think before she talks. Runs off at the mouth." Haldir laughed.  
  
"I know," he said. "I should not have let her irritate me." Diane suddebly got an idea.  
  
"I know a way to relax you," she said. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled, almost evilly. "Straddle the log, back facing me," she ordered. Haldir did so, not sure what she wanted. Diane then straddled the log herself, facing his back, and placed her hands on his shoulders. She slowly began to massage, starting at the base of his neck and moving t his shoudlers, and then upper back and then back to his shoulders and neck.  
  
After a while, he turned around and grabbed hold of her hands. "My turn," he said with a small smirk and a raised eyebrow. Diane grinned.  
  
---  
  
Ayla was washing up the dishes in the stream, and Gandalf was repacking the rest of the things and placing the packs back onto the horses. Ayla finished the last dish, put it in the last pack and handed it to Gandalf.  
  
A few moments later, Diane and Haldir wandered back into the clearing, looking rather disheveled.  
  
"I don't even wanna know," Ayla said, pointing at the scratch on Diane's arm and the bruise tear on the shoulder of Haldir's shirt.  
  
"Trees are stupid," Diane replied.  
  
"Don't say that too loud, the Ents might hear," Ayla shot back, giggling. Diane stuck her tongue out and walked over to Carmë.  
  
"Hey, sweetie, how's life?" she said to the horse. Ayla giggled.  
  
They were soon mounted up and on their way again.  
  
---  
  
The rest of the trip to Mirkwood was rather uneventful until their last night before reaching the Elven kingdom.  
  
It was very late, and Ayla was walking back to the campsite from the designated bathroom site. She was wondering why none of the fanfictions she had ever read delved into the question of bathroom breaks while traveling. She had always wondered if maybe bodily functions just kind of went on 'hold' while traveling in a fanfic. Either that, or nobody wanted to read - or write, for that matter - about their beloved Aragorn or Gimli answering that specific call of nature.  
  
Yes, this was Ayla's rather disturbing train of thought as she arrived back at the campsite. She promptly stopped thinking when she noticed that Gandalf was awake and sitting by the stream that they were camped by.  
  
Diane had noted earlier that they seemed quite blessed to always be camped by water, and Ayla had joked that maybe it was some all-pwerful Author's plot device. They had both reguarded the little stream with some suspicion after that.  
  
Who wouldn't? Especially being from a world where such plot dveices were contrived daily by rabid fangirls?  
  
"Gandalf?" Ayla asked, coming back to reality, or whatever it could be called. He looked up at her and smiled, taking a puff off his pipe. "Something the matter?" she asked, walking up and sitting down next to him. She plucked a piece of grass from the ground and nibbled at the white end of it.  
  
"Oh, no," Gandalf replied. "I was just entertaining some thoughts."  
  
"Do tell!" Ayla said, plucking another piece of grass.  
  
"Oh, you do not want to be bored by the mullings of an ancient wizard such as myself," he said.  
  
"Oh, don't be a fool," Ayla laughed, staring up at the sky. It was littered with a glittering blanket of stars, winking away in the night. "I love hearing your ideas," she continued. "They are so interesting! Please, Gandalf, tell me of what you were thinking."  
  
Gandalf chuckled. "Oh, Ayla," he said. "You are quite the character. Never have I met one such as you, that is for certain."  
  
Ayla grinned. "Thank you," she said happily.  
  
"Ayla," Gandalf said. "Would you ever consider being romantically attached to an old fool such as myself?"  
  
Ayla stared at him in shock for moment. "Are - are you asking me to be... your - your girlfriend?" she stuttered. He nodded. "I - I will need some... time to think about this, Gandalf," she said.  
  
"Of course, Ayla. I understand."  
  
Ayla shakily got up and stumbled over to her bedroll.  
  
'Oi' was the last thought in her head as she fell asleep.  
  
---  
  
The next day was rather quiet, at least on Ayla and Gandalf's parts. Diane and Haldir, on the other hand, were talking up a storm.  
  
After a while, Diane fell back until she and Ayla were riding side by side.  
  
"What's up?" she asked, concerned for her friend. If Ayla wasn't blabbering like a drunk gibbon at least fourteen hours out of the day, something was most likely up.  
  
Ayla smiled awkwardly and relayed the previous night's conversation to her. Diane stared at her in surprise.  
  
"You're kidding, right?" she asked. Ayla shook her head. "Oi."  
  
"My words exactly," Ayla replied.  
  
---  
  
Finally, they reached Mirkwood, and Thranduil himself met them. Ayla and Diane were 'ooh'ing and 'ah'ing the entire first fifteen minutes they were in the woods. After that it was less frequent, but still intermitent in their talk.  
  
Thranduil got some servants to show them their rooms, and there they changed and then were led to the dining hall. They were shown their places amongst the few other Mirkwood guests. Then the royal family entered.  
  
Diane stared at Prince Legolas, mouth open. Haldir noticed and seemed ratehr perturbed. Ayla actually fell off of her chair. Everybody - including Legolas - stared at her as she scrambled back up onto her chair. She grinned around at the table and settled herself back down comfortably. Legolas raised an eyebrow and shot his father a questionaing glance. Thranduil shrugged slightly in response.  
  
Soon, everybody was seated and enjoying the meal. Diane and Ayla didn't say much, but listened to the conversations shooting around the room. A few times, the girls piped up, but for the most part, Ayla stared at Legolas and Diane and Haldir played footsies under the table.  
  
Ayla had noticed half way through the meal what the two were up to and nearly snorted some of the Elven wine she was drinking up and out of her nose. AFter that, she had spent a good part of the meal not spent staring at Legolas, giggling at Diane and Haldir.  
  
---  
  
"I hate you," Diane grumbled that night, after dinner. She and Ayla were standing on the balcony of the room they were sharing. Bubbles the Bunny was happily munching on a carrot in a small area they had blocked off for him.  
  
"I know you do, but ya gotta love me, too!" Ayla replied, laughing.  
  
"Have you thought about Gandalf's proposition?" Diane asked suddenly. Ayla frowned.  
  
"Yes," she asnwered.  
  
"And? What's your answer?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
======================  
The horses names are actual elvish words. Yay! Gandalf was on Broniatha, which is Sindarin for 'Will Endure'. Diane's horse was Carmë, which is Quenya for 'Art', and Ayla was on Lav which is Quenya for 'Lick' [a little bit of an in-joke there, eh Crimson?]. Haldir's horse was Alcarinquë - "The Glorious", name of a star/planet.   
  
All this info I got from this site: http://www.uib.no/people/hnohf/ . the webmistress is like, tolkien linguist extrordinaire. AWESOME site. go see!  
  
Bleh! That was a really difficult chapter to write. Bwee! Awkward!Gandalf! Much amusion, lol, but hell to write. So. Feedback is great. Whaddaya think? Good Bad? Bleh?  
  
And! For those of you thinking 'What's with all the mush? I thought this was humour?' Take a second look at the genre - it's humour/romance. two of my fave genres to write. I LUFF writing romancey mushy smooshy scenes. heeeeee.  
  
i'm particularily fond of the scene between diane and haldir near the beginning. bwa! so anyways, i'll go now and let you gt on with your day,  
  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	5. Scary Sibling People From the Nth Dimens...

I would like to announce, that as of yesterday, i am an aunt! yay! [claps] i have a nephew! his name is Caiden and I have yet to see him - my brother is four provinces away - blargh. oh well. im an aunt! yay! [claps]  
  
One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
Yes. So. The next chapter! i don't have anything to say today before the chap except... uh... well... nothing. so read on!  
  
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Chapter Five: Scary Sibling People From The Nth Dimension!  
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So Diane and Ayla and Haldir and Gandalf and Bubbles the Bunny were in Mirkwood. They were planning on staying quite a while, and then the girls weren't quite sure what was going to happen after that. Maybe find a way to visit the shire, or Gondor. Diane definately wanted to go visit Gondor and see Boromir before he got killed off by Orcs.   
  
But they had figured they would get to that when they got to that, so they left it for the time being and instead turned their thoughts to the present.  
  
So one evening, about a week after their arrival, Diane was lounging by a tree a short ways away from the palace. She was just thining about random things - home, spiders, leaves, and isn't the sky a funny colour this evening?  
  
Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her and looked around the evergreen she was leaning against to see Haldir making his way towards her. He was carrying a basket in one hand, and grinned when he saw her looking over at him.  
  
"May I request your presence for a picnic, My Lady?" he asked, coming up to her, a smile on his face. Diane grinned.   
  
Haldir had a rather amusing habit of being very formal with her sometimes, knowing she found it incredibly amusing, and he loved to hear her laugh; it made him want to sing. He was surprised by his feelings - he had not felt so about anyone for a very long time.  
  
Diane laughed quickly and stood up. Haldir's smiled widened and he held out his free hand. Diane took it and they began to walk further away from the palace.  
  
"So what made you think of an evening picnic?" Diane asked as they walked.   
  
Haldir shrugged, and continued walking. Diane laughed again.   
  
"You're a kook," she said. "You know I've never had a picnic in the evening before."  
  
"Well," Haldir said, "I guess it's a good thing I suggested it then, isn't it?"  
  
"I guess so," Diane agreed.  
  
They continued to walk in silence, until they came to a small, round clearing. It was rimmed with trees and there was a single, moss-covered log in the center of it. Haldir let go of Diane's hand hand put the basket down by the log. He opened the cover, and pulled out a blanket, which he laid down on the log for them to sit on.  
  
"You thought of everything, didn't you?" Diane asked, moving to sit down on the log. Haldir grinned mischiviously, and Diane giggled.   
  
When Diane was sitting down, Haldir pulled out the food - some Elven wine, some bread and cheeses, and some meats, as well as two wine glasses.  
  
"Well, this is quite the feast you've set up, isn't it?" Diane smiled. Haldir said nothing, instead only smiling back at her.   
  
He filled one of the glasses with some of the wine and handed it to her, and then filled the other glass. He put his glass down and Diane sipped at hers as Haldir placed some cheese and meat on a piece of bread and handed it to her.  
  
"I think only you could make something so simple so romantic," Diane said, taking the half-sandwich.  
  
"I do my best," Haldir replied. He smiled, kissed his fingertips, and then placed them on her forehead. Diane blushed slightly, and took a bite of her food.  
  
They ate and sipped their wine and talked a bit, until the food was gone and the wine bottle nearly empty. Diane was feeling a bit light-headed. And giggly. She was feeling quite giggly. Haldir couldn't help but notice.  
  
"Enjoying the wine, I see," he smiled.  
  
"And the company," Diane had shot back quickly. She sidled closer to him and took his hand in her own. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed her fingertips, before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her lips. Diane sighed and leaned in to it.  
  
"It's a beautiful evening," Haldir said when he pulled away. Diane 'mm'ed in response, playing with his fingers distractedly. "Almost as beautiful as you."  
  
Diane smirked and shifted her position quickly, so she was now straddling his legs, facing him. "Boo," she whispered, kissing the tip of his nose.  
  
"Indeed," he replied. He smiled and reached up, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her even closer. Diane raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Indeed!" she replied, smiling.  
  
---  
  
Ayla stood hesitantly before Gandalf's bedroom door. She raised her hand to knock on it, and then dropped it again.  
  
"Come in!" Gandalf called suddenly from inside the room. Surprised, Ayla opened the door and slowly stepped into the room.  
  
"I'm not even gonna ask how you knew," she mumbled, closing the door behind her. Gandalf laughed.  
  
"It would take much too long to explain, anyways," he said. "So what brings you to my room?" he asked, putting his book down.  
  
"Ehhh... would you believe it if I told you I was possessed by flying demon monkeys and told by a wicked witch of the west to call you my pretty and tell you I'll get you, and your little dog too?" Ayla grinned. Gandalf gave her a funny look.   
  
"I do not know what a monkey is," he asnwered. "Or a dog, for that matter."  
  
"Eh, didn't think so," Ayla said. "I was bored. Just wondering what you were up to."  
  
"Ah, I was just reading a book from King Thranduil's library. A rather interesting tale," he said.  
  
"I'm sure," Ayla said, interested. She came over to the chair he was sitting in and sat down in the one next to it.  
  
Gandalf studied her face closely for a minute. Ayla glanced around the room. She hated being stared at. Finally, Gandalf spoke up. "What is troubling you, Ayla?" he asked. Ayla shot a glance at him.  
  
"Is it that obvious?" she asked. Gandalf shrugged. Ayla sighed. "Blargh," she said.   
  
Gandalf raised an eyebrow at her.   
  
"I was thinking about what you said last week," she said finally. Gandalf said nothing, just looked at her. She noticed, and scowled. "Could you not stare?" she asked grumpily. "It's unnerving." Gandalf obligingly looked at the ceiling.  
  
"So, anyways," Ayla continued. "I was thinking about what you said last week. For about the millionth bajillionth time." Ayla glared at her hands. "And, well... I think... I think my answer might possibly be..."  
  
She never did get to tell Gandalf what her answer was. The next thing they knew, the ceiling opened up.  
  
---  
  
"Ack! I think I'm beginning to think the trees are trying to do me in!"  
  
Diane struggled to sit up. She had hit her head against a tree. For the third time in ten minutes. Haldir laughed.  
  
"Stop laughing! It's not funny," Diane grumbled. "I'm gonna have a bump on my head the size of a... a... I dunno. Really big rock."  
  
Haldir smiled. "I'll just have to kiss it better, then, won't I?" he said. He smirked at Diane and quickly kisses her. He was about to pull back when she shot her arm up and around his shoulders and pulled him back. The sudden move caused both of them to lean backwards and land on the ground again.  
  
"Hmmm..." Haldir said thoughtfully, his elbows on either side of her head. "It looks as though you are pinned, good Lady."  
  
"Not for long if I can help it," Diane retorted.  
  
"I'd like to see you try," Haldir teased. Diane raised an eyebrow.  
  
Suddenly, a person fell through the tree tops. Diane shouted in surprise, and Haldir jumped up, grabbing a stick from the ground.  
  
The person stood up, facing away from them, and beginning to brush grass and leaves from her clothing, grumbled loudly. Diane stood up. The person turned around. Diane gaped.  
  
"Diane?"  
  
"Katie?"  
  
"You know this person?" Haldir asked. "Is she from your world?"  
  
"Course I know her," Diane said. "She's my sister."  
  
---  
  
The ceiling opened up and a person fell out of it. Ayla screamed in shock. Gandalf moaned in pain. The person had landed on top of him.  
  
"Ow," said the person, scrambling off of Gandalf. Ayla choked in surprise, and then jumped up to see if Gandalf was okay.   
  
Thankfully, he was. Ayla figured that he must have pretty strong bones - I mean, there's this hundred and fifty-five pound guy dropping on top of him out of nowhere, and however long in the future, you've got the whole fight with Saruman going on - and you'd think that he would have broken his back or *something* with that fight...  
  
Ayla snapped back to reality. She turned to glare at the person who had fallen out of the ceiling and on top of Gandalf.  
  
"Milan! What do you think you are doing?!" she yelled. "Falling out of ceilings and landing on Gandalf and -"  
  
"Dude - that's Gandalf?" He turned to Gandalf, who was eyeing him warily. "Hi!" Gandalf looked at Ayla.  
  
"Who is this?" he asked.  
  
"My brother," Ayla answered.  
  
---  
  
"How did you get here?" Diane asked her sister, Katie. Katie shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. One minute I was talking with people online, and the next, I'm falling through a bunch of trees and then you're here!" She shot a glance at Haldir. "And Haldir." She stopped, turning back to Haldir. "Haldir?"  
  
Haldir nodded slowly. Katie grinned.  
  
"Shibby." Diane shook her head and turned to Haldir.  
  
"Haldir, Katie. Katie, Haldir," Diane said quickly, introducing them. "We should probably get back to the palace and show you to Thranduil and Ayla and Gandalf," Diane said, looking at Katie. "Boy, have you got bad timing."  
  
"Ayla's here? And Gandalf? Did you say Thranduil? As in Greenleaf? As in Legolas? As in sexy Elf man?"  
  
"Yep," Diane replied. Haldir scowled, and Diane shot a grin his way. "Do not worry, goof," she said. "He's not about to replace you." Haldir blushed a bit and the two set to work packing away the picnic stuff.  
  
"Waitasec," Katie said. "Are you two together?" Diane looked a bit uncomfortable, but Haldir nodded simply. "Diane, how long have you been here?"  
  
"About four months. When is it at home?" Diane replied.  
  
"The night before your birthday."  
  
"Still?" Diane asked, surprised. "You mean, no time has passed at home? None?" Katie shook her head. "Wow..." Diane trailed off...  
  
They finished packing up in silence, and then walked back to the palace.  
  
---  
  
"So," Gandalf said, rubbing his nose. "This is your brother." The three - Gandalf, Ayla, and Milan - were still in Gandalf's room.  
  
"Yep," Milan said before Ayla could. "You know, you don't look that old." Gandalf looked surprised, and Ayla glared at him. But it was something she had noticed. Gandalf did look a good deal younger than he had in the movies, and he seemed a good deal younger than he had in the books.  
  
He was probably a good deal younger than when the Lord of the Rings took place, Ayla had gathered.  
  
"On't-day ay-say nything-ay bout-ay e-thay ord-lay of-ay e-thay ing-ray ou-yay ork-day!" Ayla snapped at Milan.  
  
"Yeesh! Sorry," he replied. Gandalf looked quite lost.   
  
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Gandalf got up to answer it. A minute later, Diane, Haldir, and Katie were in the room.  
  
"Katie?!" Ayla said.  
  
"Milan?!" Diane exclaimed.  
  
The two girls looked at each other.  
  
"Oh, great," they grumbled together. Just great."  
  
=======  
  
Don't ask what that scene between Diane and Haldir was about - I'm not too sure myself... it's rather odd, isn't it?  
  
So, wasn't that fun? Evil sibling people showing up to mix up the drama! yay! [dances to juicy fruit commercial - juicy fruit, is gonna move ya -]  
  
so anyways. the only reason Milan is in their is because he blackmailed me. stupid brothers. i have taught him a bit tooooooo well, it would seem...  
  
so, anyways, im off to write chapter six! Crimson Starlight is demanding more, lol, so it looks like there may be another update soon. but its iffy. im supposed to be grounded.  
  
stupid parents. lol.  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	6. A Whole Pile Of Decades Is A Lot!

One Hell of a Birthday  
by SplendiferGoddess  
  
Next chap. Much fun. And stuff. I'm tired. My moms waking me up early tomorrow. I should probably be sleeping, eh? yeah... thats what I thought...  
  
=============  
Chapter Six: A Whole Pile Of Decades Is A Lot!  
=============  
  
So Diane and Ayla had taken Katie and Milan to see King Thranduil. Milan was touching everything that people didn't tell him not to, and Katie was sending flirtatious looks in the general direction of Legolas, who happened to be in the room when Diane and Ayla brought their siblings in.  
  
After thoroughly scaring the royalty, Katie and Milan were given rooms and shown the way to them. Diane and Ayla went off by themselves to discuss this new phenomenon of siblings falling from above.  
  
They found a nice tree and scrambled up it until coming to a large, thick branch that could support the weight of both of them.  
  
"I like trees," Ayla said. Diane scowled.  
  
"I think they hate me. I kept hitting my head against one while I was on my picnic with Haldir."  
  
Ayla snorted. "Should I ask what you were doing with Haldir that would cause head-tree connectage?" She giggled.  
  
"No," Diane said. "Weren't we gonna talk about the invasion of the family members?" Ayla coughed.  
  
"Oh, right," she said. "Well, I don't think that the same thing that brought us here brought them here. They're still in Earth-type clothes." Diane nodded.  
  
"And they fell from above, instead of just, apearing here," she pointed out.  
  
"But what if we fell from the sky?" Ayla asked.  
  
"I think I would have woken up in a lot more pain and a lot quicker if I had fallen out of the sky, Ayla," Diane said.  
  
"Point," Ayla said, nodding. "This will take lengthy pondering, indeed." Ayla rubbed her chin thoughtfully, squinting one eye and cocking her head to the side, so she looked like a rather creepy marionette from a Goosebumps book or something.  
  
"Kook," Diane said.  
  
They didn't talk for much longer. They were just about to leave the tree when they heard sounds below them. They looked down to see Katie dragging Legolas behind her.  
  
"Come on," she was saying. "There's a clearing somewhere around here where we won't be interupted."  
  
"I think I know of where you are talking about," Legolas said, suddenly taking the lead and flashing Katie a suggestive grin.  
  
Diane and Ayla looked at each other, a tad surprised.  
  
"That was creepy," Ayla said.  
  
"Yes," Diane agreed. "Very."  
  
---  
  
The rest of the day passed without incident, although both Legolas and Katie had rather interesting expressions on their faces any time somebody saw them.   
  
Katie's was that of conquest. Lagolas' was that of discovery, awe, and utter admiration.  
  
That night, Ayla was getting ready for bed when their was a knock on the bedroom door. She buttoned up the top button of her nightdress and went to answer the door, being careful not to wake Diane, who was already asleep, hidden under the covers on her bed.  
  
Gandalf was at the door.  
  
"Gandalf!" Ayla said in a surprised whisper. She stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"You were about to give me your answer, when we were interupted," he said, looking imploringly at her.  
  
"Uh..." Ayla trailed off. She hated being put on the spot. Usually, she could bluff her way out of this kind of situation, but for some reason, she couldn't think of some sort of bullshit response or excuse.  
  
'Damn this fresh outdoor air!' she thought. 'It's making me feel very honest.'  
  
"Well," she fumbled, playing with the hem of her nightdress, suddenly realising why people didn't wear nightdresses around in public - this one, at least, was incredibly short and flimsy. She felt very exposed, all of a sudden. "My answer - was - uh -"  
  
Suddenly, she stopped, pulled Gandalf towards her, kissed him quickly, and then took off down the hallway, in the general direction of the stairs.  
  
Gandalf was left behind with a rather surprised expression.  
  
---  
  
Ayla flew through the halls until she was finally out of the palace and on the front steps. She stopped and leaned against the wall, panting slightly.  
  
'I need to get back into shape,' she thought. She heard a noise and looked up. She stepped off the steps and walked foreward a few paces, and came face to face with Diane and Haldir.  
  
"Diane! Haldir! What are you doing out here?" Ayla asked, surprised. Diane shrugged.  
  
"What are *you* doing out here?" she asked in reply. "You aren't exactly dressed for a hike." Diane smirked. Ayla narrowed ehr eyes at her, and then smiled. She actually didn't care that she was wearing a nightdress that barely reached her mid-thighs. She didn't know why she had felt so embarrassed back up by her room.  
  
"Ayla?" Diane noticed the small frown that had set on Ayla's face. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Indeed, Ayla, you seem troubled," Haldir said. Ayla sighed.  
  
"I kissed Gandalf," Ayla said simply. Diane's eyes widened, but Haldir did not look surprised.  
  
"Do you wish that you had not?" he asked. Ayla blinked.  
  
"Well, no..." she said slowly.  
  
"Then what is the problem?"  
  
Ayla looked at Diane for help. Diane just shrugged and smothered a giggle.  
  
"Well - He - I - Er..." Ayla fumbled her words. "I'm fifteen!" she finally said. "Gandalf's like..." Ayla stopped and turned to Haldir. "How old is Gandalf?" she asked.  
  
"I, myself, am not quite certain," he answered.  
  
"Is he older than fifty?"  
  
"Well, of course," Haldir replied. Ayla turned back to Diane.  
  
"He's a whole pile of decades older than me!" she cried.  
  
Diane looked at Ayla. "Ayla," she said, "was it a horrible kiss?"  
  
"Well, no..." Ayla said slowly. "It was a good kiss actually..."  
  
"Then what's the problem?"  
  
Ayla opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She put her hands on her hips, and squinted one eye. "Good point," she said finally. She was about to head back up to her room and then stopped and turned back to Diane. "I thought you were asleep in bed," she said. Diane grinned.  
  
"Think Prancing Pony scene," Diane replied. Ayla rolled her eyes, said goodbye, and took off again, this time heading towards her room.  
  
When she got there, Gandalf was no longer there. Well, no duh, she thought. She headed towards his room. When she got there, he was sitting on his balcony - everyone seems to have bolcony having rooms, Ayla thought - staring at the sky.  
  
"Gandalf?" Ayla said hesitantly. Gandalf looked up at her. Ayla smiled. Gandalf smiled. She walked up to him and gave him a hug, which he returned.  
  
Ayla sighed softly, smiling. This was right.  
  
Suddenly, the floor opened up and they fell through. Ayla shrieked. Gandalf yelled in surprise. They fell into a black abyss.  
  
---  
  
Diane and Haldir were sitting on a bench by the entrance of the castle, talking.  
  
"That was actually rather amusing," Haldir said.  
  
"You just like to see Ayla upset," Diane said, rolling her eyes. "I don't know what it is about you two - you're always bickering, subtley or not." Haldir shrugged.  
  
"We are very different, that is all," he explained. Diane snorted.  
  
"Oh, as *if*," she laughed. "You two are so alike it's scary sometimes!"  
  
Haldir scowled and looked away. Diane poked his shoulder. He looked back at her.  
  
"Get over it," she said quietly, grinning at him. He fought a smile, but it ended up winning, and the corner of his lip twitched up.  
  
The the bench seemd to open up and swallow them whole, pulling them into some sort of black abyss.  
  
"Ack!" Diane cried.  
  
"Eep!" Haldir shouted. Eep? Diane thought momentarily. This is my elf? He says *eep*?  
  
She was quickly yanked from her thoughts as she found herself floating in blackness, alone. "Haldir?" she called. "Where did you go?" There was no answer. She frowned, and started to doggy paddle, and as far as she knew, she was moving, although she had no way to make sure - it wasn't like there was any scenery or floating objects aound that she could gauge her position on.  
  
After about ten minutes, she bumped into something. There was a scream, and then Diane shouted in shock. She reached out, and poked something squishy.  
  
"Hey! That's my eye!"  
  
"Ayla?"  
  
"Diane?"  
  
"Yes! It's you! What happened? One minuteGandalf and I were standing in his room, and then, ploob, I'm floating around in some sort of spacial anomily."  
  
"Ayla, you need to stop watching Star Trek," Diane said. "But seriously, me and Haldir were just sitting on a bench, and then it opened up and I ended up here."  
  
"Diane," Ayla said slowly. "You don't think we're going back home, do you? To regular Earth?"  
  
Diane didn't say anything for a moment. Suddenly a hand whacked her in the head. "Ow," she groaned.  
  
"Sorry, I thought you had dispaeared," Ayla apologised. "But, maybe that's why Gandalf and Haldir aren't here. Maybe we're going home, and they aren't coming with us?"  
  
"That's not fair," Diane grumbled. Suddenly there was a shout. And then another one. And two more.  
  
"Hello?" Diane and Ayla called, nearly at the same time.  
  
"Hey-ho!"  
  
There was much paddling and awkward swinging of limbs, and then everybody bumped into everybody else.  
  
"What in God's name is going on?" Katie asked.  
  
"I dunno," Ayla replied. There was a swinging of a limb.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"Sorry, Haldir, I was aiming for Ayla."  
  
"Heeee! Missed me! Ow!"  
  
"Hah, that time I didn't!"  
  
A raspberry was blown, and another one sent back.  
  
Suddenly, a bright light, like a spotlight appeared. Everybody blinked and peered around. Then, suddenly, everything went kind of swishy and swirly, and the next thing everyone knew, they were no longer in the abyss.  
  
Ayla, Diane, Haldir, and Gandalf blinked and looked around. They were in what looked like an apartment, and Katie and Milan were nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Eh?" said Ayla. "What is going on?!"  
  
"Uh, Diane? Ayla?" said Haldir. "You may want to examine a mirror."  
  
Diane and Ayla raised eyebrows, and then found the bathroom of the apartment. They peered into the mirror, and their jaws dropped in shock. They were... older. By a few years, not a lot, but you could still tell that they were older.  
  
They walked back into the living room and Diane walked over to the television and turned it on. The weather station was on. They peered at the bottom of the screen, where the date was. It said: January 7th, 2006.  
  
Diane and Ayla stared in surprise. Haldir and Gandalf were staring in the television in surprise, too, but that was probably because they had never in their life seen a television before.  
  
Diane and Ayla groaned. This was gonna take a lot of figuring out.  
  
-----  
  
Yeah, so it was a weird chapter, and I'm not really sure what's happening anymore, lol. Stuff is just kind of happening on its own - i just write it, man! lol.  
  
yeah, sorry for the taking so long of posting. Stuff's been going on, enjoy the chapperty!  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	7. Stupid Dimensional Temperal Anomalies

One Hell of a Birthday  
Part Two: Back in Regular Earth  
  
you know, you guys are lucky - i was planning on turning part two into a sequel, and putting it on hold so i could work on my book. instead, i figured that i would probably be murdered if i did, so here you are! lol...  
  
------  
Chapter Seven: Stupid Dimensional Temperal Anomalies  
------  
  
Diane and Ayla had decided that sleeping would probably be a good idea. It was doubtful that it would help solve anything, except, well, tiredness, but still. Sleeping was always a good option when you had no idea what the heck was going on.  
  
So they all slept.  
  
When Diane woke up, she heard a single voice speaking in the kitchen.  
  
Is Ayla talking to herself again? she wondered groggily, rolling out of the bed she had slept in. She threw on some of the clothes she had found in the closet and meandered into the kitchen, where Ayla was hanging up the phone.  
  
"Who were you talking to?" Diane asked. Ayla had a peculiar expression on her face.  
  
"My boss," she asnwered. "Although, I don't know how I knew it was my boss... I just did..." Diane raised an eyebrow at her, shook her head, and set about making coffee. After turning on the coffee maker, she and Ayla walked into the living room, where Gandalf and Haldir were glued to the television.  
  
Haldir looked up when the girls walked in.  
  
"This is amazing," he said to Diane. "Ayla has explained to me that it is no form of magic." Diane grinned.  
  
"Has she tried explaining how the electrons and stuff get transfered from one place to another?" she asked.  
  
Gandalf shook his head. "No," he said, "but I am interested to learn, now." Diane made a face.   
  
"Eh..." she said. She walked over to the bookshelf and pulled the 'T' encyclopedia from the shelf. She found the entry for 'television' and gave the book to Ayla. "Read this to him - I've got a hunch they can't understand or read english, seeing as theyre watching a spanish channel." Ayla laughed, took the book, and sat down.  
  
As she began to read the encyclopedia article, Diane wandered back into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. She sat down at the table, with her mug, and promptly blacked out, but not before hearing a cry of surprise from Haldir and Gandalf, as well as a *thud*.  
  
------  
  
Diane groaned. He brought her hand to her forehead, which hurt like hell, and opened her eyes slowly. She found Haldir's face about a foot away from hers.  
  
"Well, hello," she said, smiling. Haldir smiled.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked. Diane nodded, and sat up. She was in 'her' bed again. Haldir backed up so she could   
stand up. She did so, and then she and Haldir left the room and enetered the room Ayla was in. Apparently, Ayla had passed out as well, and was just waking up.  
  
When the girls were both up, and Gandalf and Haldir were certain they weren't about to kick the bucket on them, they all sat down in the living room.  
  
"What do you think happened?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"I don't know," Diane said.  
  
"It's like I have two sets of memories," Ayla said suddenly. Diane nodded in agreement.  
  
"Two stes of memories?" Haldir asked.  
  
"Yes. It's like, the whole time we were in Middle Earth, we were here, too... or something like that... and we went on living here... and now I have all the memories from the last few years here, but also the ones from Middle Earth."  
  
"It's weird," Ayla said.  
  
"I would expect that it would," Gandalf said, rubbing his chin. "This is very intriguing," he said. Diane and Ayla laughed.  
  
"'Course *you* would find it interesting," Diane said. "I just find it... unnerving."  
  
"Indeed," Ayla said. "It's very weird. But it does explain a lot. Like how I knew to call my boss and tell her I wouldn't be in today."  
  
"Oi," said Diane.  
  
--------  
  
So for the next few days were spent sorting through the girls' newly aquired set of memories. Diane called Ayla's boss and told ehr that Ayla had a bad case of strep throat and couldn't come in, and Ayla did the same for Diane, so they could get out of working.  
  
By the the next Saturday, the fourteenth, they had basically worked through everything, and pretty much understood what had gone on since 2003 when they entered Middle Earth, and now, 2006, three years later.  
  
"So then, what do we do?" Diane asked on Saturday evening.  
  
"What do you mean?" Ayla asked, looking up from her food. The four were sitting around the kitchen table eating supper, which was mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, and meatloaf.  
  
"Well, you two got pulled into our dimension," Diane said, pointing at Gandalf and Haldir with her fork. "And that happened very suddenly, so we have no idea *when* your going to get pulled back into Middle Earth, if at all. And if you are, we don't know what point in time you'll be pulled into. Which is bad."  
  
"Well, I don't see why it would be such a problem. If you had a copy of you living on here, wouldn't we have copies of ourselves living on in Middle Earth?" Haldir pointed out.  
  
Ayla and Diane stared at each other for a moment.  
  
"Good point," said Ayla. "So I guess it doesn't really matter."  
  
"I... guess... not..." Diane said slowly. She took a forkful of mashed potatoes and swallowed thoughtfully. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.  
  
After supper, when all the dishes were washed and put away, the four settled down in the living room to watch some television. It had become a nightly event, over the week. They'd sit down to watch 'Star Trek: Voyager', and in doing so, the girls were teaching English to Haldir and Gandalf. The two were catching on rather quickly, and could understand most of what was going on. Haldir had announced that his favourite character was Tuvok, but Gandalf was partial to Chakotay.  
  
"It is amazing that people make a living pretending to be someone else," Gandalf said after the episode ended and they turned the TV off. Diane smirked.  
  
"Yeah, well, some people make a living the same way, except they're not actors," Ayla said, smiling. Diane giggled.  
  
"Con artists," she said by way of explanation to the guys. The blank expression on their faces made her smile. "Someone who pretends to be someone they're not, and then steals and stuff. And then nobody can blame them, because they don't know who they really are."  
  
"Men like that have no honour," Haldir said indignantly.  
  
"They're not all men, either," Diane giggled. Ayla scowled.  
  
"That's not funny," she grumbled. "I didn't *know* she was a thief. How was I supposed to know?"  
  
Diane smirked. Haldir and Gandalf ignored them. The girls had begun to do this quite often; bringing up instances from their lives here on Earth, especially memories from the past three years. They had stopped asking and just started sitting back and being amused.  
  
---  
  
The following Monday, Diane and Ayla went back to work. Diane generally worked at home, designing web sites, but she had a part-time job at the seven eleven a few blocks away. Ayla was working as a waitress at a hotel resturaunt downtown, and was taking nightclasses for her psychology degree.  
  
And after that, life was kind of boring. Haldir and Gandalf stayed in the apartment until they were taught in the ways of Regular Earth, as the girls had taken to calling it, and even then, they weren't allowed to venture further than two blocks away from the apartment on their own. This complacentness lasted about three months, until Easter rolled around.  
  
Then Ayla and Diane had the pleasure of explaining not one, but *two* holidays to the guys - Easter, and Ostara, the pagan holiday that Ayla celebrated. The girls then decided that Regular Earth holidays were not invented to be explained to Middle Earth people, especially because having to explain the holiday generally means having to explain the religion behind it; if its a religious holdiay, anyways. They figured Canada Day would be pretty simple to explain.  
  
But anyways. After convincing Haldir and Gandalf that, yes, people did make a point of drawing all over eggs as a way to celebrate both Easter and Ostara, they had quite a fun time doing so, although they ended up with a lot more broken eggs than coloured eggs.  
  
The day before Easter, Ayla had a staff party to go to, which she did, reluctantly mind you. She came home an hour early with a scowl on her face.  
  
"Remind me to never attend a staff party again," she grumbled to Diane and Haldir, who were watching a movie in the living room. Diane looked up and grinned.  
  
"Isn't that what you said after the Christmas party?" she asked.  
  
"Bah. And humbug, too," Ayla said in response and then retreated to her room, where Gandalf was reading.  
  
The next day Ayla had off, and a good thing, too, as she spent the majority of it pacing from the bedroom to the living room to the bathroom, pondering weather or not being three days late required pregnancy test buyage. (Diane had taken Haldir and Gandalf to watch the Easter parade).  
  
Ayla finally decided it did merit a pregnancy test, and within the hour had gone to the corner store and returned, and was now staring at the package, scared to open it up. She finally did open it up, followed the directions on the test, and then sat in the kitchen chewing her thumb nail until the thirty minutes were up. She stared at the bathroom door and scowled. She didn't want to look. She did, but she didn't.  
  
She wanted to have kids, but she wasn't sure if having children with a 3000-plus year old wizard, when he could dissapear at any given time, was such a great idea. Finally, with a sigh, she got up, went into the bathroom, and checked the test.  
  
========  
  
Yeah, so I don't know where the heck I'm going with this. I know its a super super short chapter, but I have to figure out how I'm gonna continue this, and I wanted to let you all know that the story is indeed still alive, lol.   
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	8. Trouble In Paradise

One Hell of a Birthday  
Part Two: Back in Regular Earth  
  
yay! next chap! and for those of you wondering, im trying to figure out a way to get bubbles back into the story...  
  
WARNING: Chapter has some very unamusing parts. Stupid Gandalf and his guyness.  
=============  
Chapter Eight: Trouble in Paradise  
=============  
  
Diane, Haldir, and Gandalf walked into the seemingly empty apartment at around four in the afternoon.  
  
"Ayla?" Diane called placing her keys on the kitchen table and dropping her purse to the floor under the table.  
  
"In my bedroom! I need to talk to you!" Ayla's voice called. Diane shrugged and walked to the bedroom, leaving Gandalf and Haldir in the living room.  
  
She closed the door when she wlaked into the bedroom and turned to look at Ayla, who was sitting on her bed. There was a small package next to her.  
  
"Ayla?" Diane asked, walking over and sitting down next to her. Ayla picked up the package and handed it to her. Diane looked at it. It was a home pregnancy test. "Ayla," Diane said again. Ayla giggled.  
  
"Stop saying my name," she said. "Yes, it's a pregnancy test. Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, it is Gandalf's. No, I don't know what I'm gonna do." Diane smirked.  
  
"I didn't even ask any of that," she said.  
  
"You were going to."  
  
"Point," Diane conceded. "So if you don't know what to do, then are you just gonna tell Gandalf?" she asked. Ayla shrugged.  
  
"I'm gonna have to. But before I do, I'm gonna go down to the doctor's office and make sure. These things aren't always correct, you know. I wanna be completely sure before I say anything to Gandalf," Ayla said.  
  
Diane nodded. "Sounds reasonable," she said.  
  
"Good," Ayla said. "I have an apointment in half an hour, and you're coming with me."  
  
"What?!" Diane asked, surprised. Ayla grinned. Diane sighed. "Yeesh, Ayla. Warn me next time," she said.  
  
"Okay," Ayla agreed simply. "Anyways, we gotta go, if we wanna get there in time," she said.  
  
So Diane and Ayla left for the doctor's office, telling Gandalf and Haldir that they wouldn't be gone long.  
  
----  
  
An hour and a half later, Ayla and Diane got home. Ayla had had a few tests done at the doctor's office, and they were going to call her when the test results came back in.  
  
Ayla had told the doctor which home test she'd taken and that the result was positive, and the doctor had told her that she was most likely pregnant, then.  
  
Gandalf and Haldir were in the living room, pouring over a rather thick hardcover book. Ayla went to the kitchen cupboard to get a cup for herself, and Diane walked into the living room as Ayla poured herself a cup of tea.  
  
"Whatcha readin'?" Diane asked, trying to see the book. Haldir held it up for her to see. Diane's eyes went wide.  
  
"Uh, maybe you two shouldn't be reading that," Diane said, trying to grab the book.  
  
"What book is that?" Ayla asked, walking into the living room. She saw the book and did a double take.  
  
It was, in fact, her copy of the complete Lord of the Rings trilogy. Ayla quickly put her mug down on the coffee table and grabbed the book before either Haldir or Gandalf could do anything about it.  
  
"Indeed, this book is not for you to read," she proclaimed, walkign towards her bedroom. She disspapeared through the door and emerged again a few minutes later, grinning.  
  
"What'd you do with it?" Diane asked. Haldir and Gandalf were still looking rather confused.  
  
"I hid it," Ayla giggled.  
  
"For what reason must you keep the book from us?" Haldir asked, peering up at Diane.  
  
"Well, it's about Middle Earth," Ayla said. "About your future." Gandalf raised an eyebrow. "I think," Ayla said. "Do you know someone named Bilbo?"  
  
"Can't say that I do," Gandalf replied.  
  
"So yes. That book is about your future in Middle Earth. So you can't read it. Because that would mess stuff up. I think." She shot Diane a look.  
  
"Yup," Diane said. "It would definately mess stuff up."  
  
"May I ask why you have a book concerning the future of Middle Earth?" Haldir asked.  
  
"No," Diane replied simply. "Now, Ayla and I are going to start making supper. Enjoy yourselves in here. You know how to work the DVD player, just find somehting to watch."  
  
Diane and Ayla walked into the kitchen and began to bustle about, preparing supper. About half an hour later, they heard a very familiar sound coming from the living room.  
  
"I amar prestar aen. The world is changed.  
Han mathon ne nen. I feel it in the waters.  
Han mathon ne chae. I feel it in the earth.  
A han noston ned 'wilith. I smell it in the air.  
Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it. "  
  
Diane and Ayla groaned. Ayla walked into the living room, over to the TV, and turned it off.  
  
"Not that movie," she said. "Definately not that movie." Haldir crossed his arms over his chest and Gandalf rolled his eyes. "You know what?" Ayla said. "You're gonna stay out of trouble by helping Diane and I with supper! Lucky you!" Gandalf laughed and Haldir just shook his head.  
  
---  
  
That evening, during supper, Ayla stopped two forks from entering mouths by uttering one simple sentence. Simple though it was, it held a world of possibilities, fears, and hopes:  
  
"There's a very good chance I'm pregnant."  
  
Gandalf and Haldir stared at her. Gandalf dropped his fork; it hit his plate with a clank and clattered to the table, off it, bounced off his chair, and flew towards Haldir's foot, effectively stabbing him. Not hard enough to pierce the flesh, but enough to cause a flinch of pain.  
  
Haldir shot Gandalf a glare, and then turned back to Ayla, placing his fork down. Gandalf stuttered.  
  
"Are you serious?" Haldir asked. Ayla looked indignant.  
  
"Course I'm serious," she pouted. "Why would I joke about something like that?"   
  
Diane snorted.  
  
"Okay, so maybe I *would* joke about somehting like that," Ayla conceded, "but not this time!"  
  
Gandalf was still staring, and trying to form words, although no sound was eminating from his mouth.  
  
"Gandalf, say something," Ayla snapped, poking him.  
  
"Are you certain?" he stuttered out. Ayla sighed.  
  
"Almost 100% sure," she said. "I'm waiting for complete confirmation form the doctor's office. That's where Diane and I went today."  
  
"I think I need to think," Gandalf said, getting up and heading for his and Ayla's bedroom.  
  
"Don't hurt yourself!" Ayla called after him, a tad bitterly. That was definately not the response she was expecting.  
  
"Well, that went rather well," Diane said. Ayla gaped at her. Haldir went back to his meal.  
  
"How can you say that? He looked like he just found out his nose fell off his face!" Ayla exclaimed.  
  
"Well, at least he didn't cry out 'Oh God! What have I done?!'" Diane said logically. Ayla glared at her and stood up, putting her fork down rather hard.  
  
"I'm going for a walk," she said stiffly. She grabbed her keys from their hook, grabbed a light jacket from the closet, and left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Haldir raised an eyebrow at Diane, who shrugged. "Looks like there's trouble in paradise," she quipped. Haldir chuckled.  
  
"You're taking this rather lightly," he commented. Diane shrugged again.  
  
"She'll get over it. She'll be pissed off for a bit, but if the walk doesn't cool her off, then she'll calm down in a day or two. I've dealt with it before, it's not big deal." She took another bite of food and then pushed her plate away. "Bedroom?" she suggested.  
  
Haldir smiled and stood up. He walked around the table to her, scooped her out of his chair, and then carried her to their bedroom.  
  
---  
  
Ayla quietly entered the apartment. She glanced at the clock and grimaced. It was two in the morning. She had wandered downtown and found a bar to wreak havoc in. After pouring her guts out to the (female) bartender, she had wandered back home, only to change her mind and then walk around the residential area for a bit, wearing off the alcohol she had consumed - or at least, some of it.  
  
The kitchen light flicked on.  
  
"AGH!" Ayla yelled in protest, shielding her eyes from the offending light.  
  
"It is late."  
  
"Turn off the liiiiiiight," Ayla moaned. "I'm mellllllting!"  
  
"I'm sure."  
  
Ayla uncovered her eyes to take a peek at the offending light-turn-onner. 'Stupid elf,' she thought.  
  
"Why did *you* stay up for me?" she asked, stumbling to the table and plopping down in the chair.  
  
"Both Diane and Gandalf were tired, and seeing as I am the only one here who doesn't need sleep every night, I volunteered to stay up an wait for you," Haldir explained.  
  
"Indeed," Ayla mumbled, placing her head on the table. "I'm here now. You can go away and turn off the light. I'm gonna sleep."  
  
"The couch may be more comfortable," Haldir suggested. Ayla stuck her tongue out at him and then proceeded to ignore him.  
  
Haldir shrugged, stood up, turned off the light, and retreated to the bedroom. Ayla promptly fell asleep at the table.  
  
---  
  
"Maybe if we poke her, she'll wake up."  
  
"Just let her sleep. I do believe that she was intoxicated when she returned this morning. She will no doubt be incredibly irritable if we wake her up now."  
  
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Ayla screamed, jumping from her sleep and falling off her chair. "My ears! My head!" she wailed, grabbing her head on both sides. She struggled to stand up and then stumbled to the living room to collapse on the couch.  
  
"Your fault for getting drunk," Diane called picking up the phone. "Loonie Bin, Dr. N. Sane speaking, how may I pick your brain apart today?" she said to the phone. Haldir raised an eyebrow at her. "Katie!" she cried. "Long time no see! When did you return to Regular Earth? Seriously? Yeesh. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll see you then! Bye."  
  
Ayla buried her head in the couch pillows. 'Stupid cheery sounding people,' she thought. 'They're stupid.'  
  
Diane walked up to Ayla and poked her. "You, sit up. Now." Ayla did so. When Diane started ordering people around, it was a good idea to do what she said.  
  
"What?" Ayla groaned.   
  
"One, if you get drunk again at any point of time in the next nine months, I will personally give you a concussion. You are not going to give my godchild FAS. Understand?"  
  
Ayla nodded mutely, mentally slapping herself. 'Good grief,' she thought. 'What was I thinking?'  
  
"And two, Katie is coming to visit. Turns out she got transported back to the same day she left." Diane shrugged. "Don't know what's up with that. She'll be here next week."  
  
Diane walked back to the kitchen.  
  
"What is FAS?" Haldir asked.  
  
"Fetal Alcohol Syndrome," Diane said. "When a pregnant woman drinks alcohol, it can cause damage to the baby's brain. Ayla knows this, but she was temporarily insane last night, and IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN." Diane raised her voice for the last bit of the sentence, making sure Ayla heard.  
  
"I heard you!" Ayla exclaimed. "Gods, I'm not about to mess up my child's brain functions. I was stupid last night, and it won't happen again. It wouldn't have happened if SOMEONE had been a little more SUPPORTIVE." Ayla directed her sentence at the closed door to hers and Gandalf's bedroom.  
  
"Oh, just go talk to him!" Diane said.  
  
"Not with this headache," Ayla grumbled in reply. Haldir just smirked bemusedly.  
  
---  
  
Ayla was curled up on the couch, sucking on a slice og grapefruit when Gandalf finally emerged from the bedroom. Haldir and Diane had gone out for a walk. Ayla made a great show of ignoring Gandalf, who sat down next to her on the couch.  
  
"Mmm, this grapefruit is yummy," she said to herself. "Though I probably wouldn't be eating it if somebody hadn't upset me enough to make me get drunk and then have a killer hangover. While carrying their CHILD."  
  
"You are not certain," Gandalf said softly.  
  
Ayla turned to him, grapefruit still in her mouth. She snatched it out. "Excuse me?" she said. "I think I can tell if I'm pregnant or not, thank you very MUCH," she snapped. "And this is YOU'RE child, you better take some responsibility for it."  
  
"I am, of course, going to take responsibility for this child, Ayla," Gandalf said. "What you said surprised me. I needed some time to think."  
  
Ayla scowled. "I'm sure."  
  
They sat in reletive silence after that; the only sound was Ayla sucking on her grapefruit.  
  
================  
  
and another chap down. go me! this one is actually kind of long. Four pages on word pad. helluva lot longer than my chapters used to be, lol.  
  
yeah, so this chapter wasn't exactly all that amusing, but I figured I'd throw *some* substance into the story. Hey, I even talked about FAS, lol. go me. so yeah. im working on the Bubbles thing, just be patient. I'm busy poking Crimson Starlight - she seems to think the name I've chosen for Ayla and Gandal's baby is ridiculous.  
  
[indignant]  
  
lol.  
  
'til next time!  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	9. Muha Haldir and Diane's Hell Chapter

One Hell of a Birthday  
Part Two: Back in Regular Earth  
  
gods, im so mean to these people, lol. You can blame Crimson Starlight for this plot device though, lol.  
  
Warning: certain four-letter f-word used in this chapter in one paragraph. Sorry. It's only used a few times. I'm sure you'll get over it. It shouldn't scar your pure innocent minds too much. :D  
  
======================  
Chapter Nine: Muhahhahaha - Haldir and Diane's Hell Chapter  
======================  
  
A week later, things had calmed down a bit in the apartment, meaning Gandalf and Ayla were happy again, and Haldir and Diane could tell, as they kept them up most nights. Darn those walls for being so thin. Diane figured rabbits wouldn't be able to keep up with those two, by the sounds of it.  
  
So Diane stopped worrying about Ayla's love life, and started to focus on her own again, which was probably a good thing, since some interesting developements had been, well, developing without her realising it. For one, Haldir was being a lot more romantic and cuddly and all those things that people who were PDA-oriented were prone to be.  
  
Heck, Diane even made herself gag sometimes, but she blamed that on Haldir. He's the one that made her mushy. Yep. It was all Haldir's fault.   
  
Which is why she should have been expecting what was coming, but for some odd reason, she wasn't, and that irritated her.  
  
Diane and Haldir were happily picnicking one afternoon, a few weeks after Ayla and Gandalf made up, in the park when it started to rain, rather heavily. They quickly pulled together their things and ran to the nearest gazebo to wait it out.  
  
Diane couldn't help but be a little happy about the rain though, since it made Haldir's shirt cling to him in the most delicious of ways. He looked incredibly good in regular human clothes, but hey, we all know that a hot male is nowhere near as hot as a *wet*, hot male. Haldir noticed her staring at his chest, which was quite seeable through the pale green, now soaked t-shirt.  
  
"See anything you like?" he quipped. Diane raised her eyebrow at him.  
  
"I think you've been watching too much TV," she laughed, poking his shoulder. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her close to him. He wrapped his arms around her and smiled down at her.  
  
"Have I, now?" he said, smirking. Diane nodded, and giggled girlishly.  
  
'I can't believe I just giggled girlishly,' thought Diane. She mentally shrugged it off, and stood up on her tip-toes to plant a light smooch on Haldir's nose.  
  
He undermined her plan, though, by moving his head just in time to catch her lips with his own, and he wasted no time in deepening the kiss until all Diane could think about was tongues and lips and wow, kissing in the rain, even if it was in a gazebo, was definately way up there on the top ten list; and all Haldir could think about was tongues and lips and wow, he was so incredibly in love with this girl that it was, well, all he could think about.  
  
They finally broke apart, and Diane was rather glad that Haldir still had his arms around her waist, because if he didn't she would have fallen down, seeing as her legs were feeling an awful lot like jell-o. She hoped it was raspberry jell-o that they were feeling like, because really, besides orange, that was the only kind she liked.  
  
They sat down on the handy-dandy gazebo bench and Diane leaned into Haldir, who draped his arm accross her shoulder and sighed contentedly.  
  
"Diane," Haldir said softly. Diane 'hmm'ed softly in response, closing her eyes and snuggling closer to Haldir. "Would you marry me? Spend your life with me?"  
  
Diane's eyes shot open and she sat up straight, feeling her muscles tighten and her breath catch. She turned to him hesitantly. She tried to smile. "Heh," she said. "I think I've got a hearing problem - I just heard you ask me to marry you," she said, eyes wide.   
  
Haldir nodded.   
  
Diane groaned.  
  
"What is the matter?" Haldir asked, touching her shoulder. She unconciously shrugged his hand away and looked down at her feet.  
  
"I can't marry you," she said simply. Haldir looked taken aback.  
  
"But - but why not?" he asked. "Do you not love me?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I love you," Diane said, rolling her eyes as if that wasn't the most obvious thing on the planet. "And of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Or at least, a good portion of it. Probably most of it." She stopped for a moment, considering. "Yep," she said finally. "Definately all of it."  
  
"Then why can you not marry me?" Haldir asked, sounding desperate, and doing the puppy-dog-eyes thing, although quite unintentionally, since elves don't normally do the begging thing, and especially not the puppy-dog-eyes thing. Which is probably because there are no puppy dogs in Middle Earth, but that's really besides the point now, isn't it?  
  
Diane felt a bit sorry for him; she couldn't help it. She always gave in to the puppy-dog-eyes. She sighed and looked away from him.  
  
"See, I have this thing, about marriage," she said. Haldir gazed at her imploringly, wordlessly asking her to explain. "I don't want one," she said. Haldir looked puzzled.  
  
"But, if you want to spend your life with me," he said, "why can we not get married?"  
  
"Look, Haldir, are we happy the way we are?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, of course we are," he said, smiling a bit.  
  
"Then why worry? I've known too many people who were perfectly happy 'til they got married and then the relationship just fell apart. I don't want that. I'm perfectly happy the way we are right now. Why can't we just stay that way?"  
  
"You are afraid," Haldir said. Diane looked away, with a slight scowl. Haldir took her chin in his hand and turned her face back towards his. "You are scared," he said again. Diane scoweled deeper.  
  
"I never said I was scared," she grumbled, standing up walking to the edge of the gazebo. The rain was still pounding to the ground.  
  
"But you are," Haldir said. "You're scared that if you marry me, you'll lose me. Well, isn't that a risk you have to take when it comes to love?" he asked, getting up and walking up to her. Diane whirled around to face him.  
  
"Fuck you," she snapped. "Just because I don't want to ruin a good thing, doesn't mean I'm scared of something that I KNOW could seriously mess it up! It's called survival instinct! It's called being human - oh, but wait! You wouldn't know about that. You're an almighty ELF - if something doesn't work out, you've got a few thousand years to get over it, and then you'll move on! Well guess what, HALDIR! I don't have that kind of luck! I've only got eighty-odd years, and if I spend half that with someone that I don't love anymore because we signed a piece of fucking PAPER and I don't want to go back on a set of promises that I made while in euphoria, then I don't have a few thousand years to get over it! I only have another twenty-some years after that, and then it's not likely that I'll find someone who'll love me! So don't you FUCKING tell me I'm SCARED. You can go fuck Aragorn up a tree if you're gonna tell me what I am and am not!"  
  
Diane ended her rant finally, breathless. Haldir looked very shocked. Diane had never yelled at him like that before. It was rather unnerving.  
  
"Diane, I -" he started.  
  
"Don't," Diane said, cutting him off. "I don't wanna here it right now. I'm going home." With that, she grabbed her purse and ran from the gazebo, not caring that the rain was soaking her to the skin. Haldir stared after her, still shocked. He watched her until the rain blurred her figure and then hid it completely. He turned around and went back to the bench.  
  
He sat down, buried his face in his hands, and sighed heavily, before helping the rain in its adding to the planet of droplet-shaped water.  
  
---  
  
Diane kept walking right on by the apartment building when she came to it, deciding that she didn't really want to go home after all. More than likely Ayla and Gandalf were home and being mushy and stupid.  
  
Love sucked. Why did people have to go ruining it by proposing? Marriage was stupid. You didn't really need it. It was only a piece of paper.  
  
"STUPID!" she shouted to the sky through the rain. She didn't know who she was shouting at; whoever was messing up Haldir's head, she guessed.  
  
"Indeed," said a voice behind her. She stopped and turned around to see who had spoken. There, in front of her and quite dry, thanks to a large black umbrella, was a tall young man with dark brown hair and a small smile on his face. "And what exactly is stupid?" he asked.  
  
Diane grimaced. "Everything," she said. The young man laughed and stepped closer to her so that she was sharing his umbrella, and thus no longer getting pelted by the offensive droplets. "It's been a while," she said.  
  
"Not that long - a year," he replied, and they started to walk.  
  
"Long enough," she said, staring at her shoes as they walked. They didn't say anything after that, and didn't speak again until they stopped, and Diane realised that they had arrived at the young man's home.  
  
"Would you like to come in and dry off a bit? Maybe have a cup of coffee?" He asked. Diane hesitated, and then nodded.  
  
"Alright," she said. "Why not? Nothing like a cup of coffee between old..." she trailed off.  
  
"Friends," the man replied. "Just friends, Diane." She nodded mutely and they stepped inside his house.  
  
---  
  
Haldir walked home carrying the picnick basket and feeling rather dejected. He stepped into the apartment and looked around for signs of Ayla and Gandalf. He found a note on the fridge saying that the two had gone out for a movie and supper and would be back that evening. Haldir was rather glad to be alone, and not have to worry about Ayla and Gandalf asking him where Diane was.  
  
He wished he knew, so he could find her and apologise. But he couldn't help but ask. He had had to ask. He understood why she didn't want to, and he knew he shouldn't have pushed with the scared thing, but he wished she had said yes.  
  
He went to the bathroom and turned on the water in the bathtub. He always did like a good bath; it helped him to relax and think.  
  
He took his bath and extracted himself from the hot water about an hour later. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch to take a nap, and maybe forget all that had gone on during the day. He was just settling in when something warm landed on his head, and then bounced into his lap. It sat there, quite shocked for a moment, and then, as if recognising him, calmed down.  
  
"Bubbles?" Haldir asked the bunny. Bubbles lazily blinked. Haldir looked up at the ceiling. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Haldir shrugged and began to stroke the rabbit. She was still quite young, so he assumed not too much time had passed in Middle-Earth since they had arrived in Earth.  
  
After a while, he did fall asleep, with Bubbles on his lap, and he didn't wake up again until Ayla and Gandalf got home.  
  
He heard the door being unlocked and pulled himself out of his sleep. He picked Bubbles up out of his lap, and holding her, walked into the kitchen to greet Ayla and Gandalf. The first thing Ayla noticed when she walked in was, of course, Bubbles.  
  
"Bubbles!" she cried, rushing over to Haldir and taking the bunny from him. She held her close and softly rubbed inbetween her long ears. Bubbles snuggled happily into Ayla's hands and against her chest and closed her eyes, apparently planning to doze off again. "How'd she get here?" Ayla asked Haldir. Haldir shrugged.  
  
"She fell onto my head while I was on the couch," Haldir said. Ayla giggled and went into the living room to play with Bubbles.  
  
"Where is Diane?" Gandalf asked, looking at the clock. Haldir took a look at the clock himself, and couldn't believe it. It was already seven o'clock, and she still wasn't home?  
  
"I do not know," Haldir said. "We had a fight, while we were at the park, and she told me she was coming home, but when I got here, she was not. I expected her to arrive back before you and Ayla got back, but, as is obvious, she hasn't." Haldir pulled his lower lip into his mouth, a habit he had picked up since arriving in Regular Earth. "I am worried, Gandalf," he said.  
  
"Worried about what?"  
  
Haldir turned around to face Ayla. He cleared his throat. "Diane," he said. "I am not sure where she is. We had a fight today." Ayla's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Are you telling me that my best friend is missing?" she asked. Haldir nodded. "Well, then, you're gonna help me find her, aren't ya?" Haldir nodded. "Good," Ayla said, and grabbing Haldir by the hand, roughly pulled him out of the apartment, calling goodbye to Gandalf over her shoulder.  
  
Gandalf just shook his head and then decided to take a nap and get some rest before Ayla came back and requested his help as well. He knew well enough that if Diane didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be found; he knew Ayla knew it, too, but he also knew the human need to do something in a time if crisis, even if it was futile.  
  
So he went to bed and promptly fell asleep.  
=========================================  
ooooooh, so who is this mysterious man from Diane's past? what kind of 'coffee' do you think they'll be sharing?  
  
and bubbles is back! yay! [claps]  
  
so anyways. hope you liked this chaptr, it was quite odd to write. and if anybody noticed a specific change in mood, thats because when I started writing the chap, I was reading Crimson Starlight's new humour fic, and then I got into the fight scene, and the happy-go-lucky mood kinda went floomp, if ya know what I mean, lol.  
  
so, hope you enjoyed the chap, im thinking of changing the genre to romance/general - should i?  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	10. Spagetti Sauce, Baby Talk, and Big Siste...

One Hell of a Birthday  
Part Two: Back in Regular Earth  
  
Okay, sooooooooo, new chpater! yay! you know, i'm feeling really good about this fic - and i actually have a plot line for once! lol. so i know that this one will actually end at some point, lol, instead of just kind of trailing off. but that won't happen for a bit yet. soooooo! here we are.  
  
If this chapter seems a little bit wonky in writing style and.. stuff, it's because i am in a lot of pain. my whole family got strep throat, and now I've got the brunt of it, and feel horrible. :P  
  
and thanks supergirl4356 for a great review - of course i don't mind you adding me to your fave authors, lol. :D thanks!  
  
Oh, and since everyone's probly been pronouncing Ayla's name like it's spelt, its not. It's pronounced "Eye-Lah". :D  
  
======================  
Chapter Ten: Spagetti Sauce, Baby Talk, and Big Sister's Back!  
======================  
Diane got home at about two in the morning. Ayla and Gandalf were out searching for her, and Haldir had stayed home in case she showed up. He was sitting at the kitchen table when Diane walked in. He leapt up.  
  
"Diane!" he exclaimed, rushing to her and hugging her. "I was so worried about you!"  
  
Diane hesitantly hugged him back. "Yeah," she said. "Sorry about that. I ran into an old friend and we lost track of time."  
  
"I must call Ayla," Haldir said, pulling away from Diane. "She and Gandalf are out searching for you." He walked over to the phone and dialed Ayla's cell phone number. After informing her that Diane was home, he turned back to Diane.  
  
"I am sorry, Diane, for what I said," he said.  
  
"It's okay, 'Dir, I kind of over-reacted, too," Diane said.  
  
"But, may I ask you a question?" Haldir asked.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"What does 'fuck Aragorn up a tree' mean?"  
  
Diane laughed. "Ah, never mind," she said, giggling. "Come on, let's go to bed."  
  
---  
  
The next morning, Diane stumbled out of bed at around eleven o' clock. Ayla was already at work, and Diane had a few finishing touches to put on some of her projects, so she got onto to the computer and started working on one of the webpages she was designing. Gandalf had gone out for a walk, which meant that he would be walking down to the park, where he would stay for a few hours, and then walk back home.  
  
She worked for most of the day, while talking with Haldir and shooting ideas off of him. He was quite interested in the computer and how it worked, and especially the internet. He was quite impressed that she could work for someone and make money without ever seeing her client face to face.  
  
At about four thirty she stopped to take a break before starting supper. Gandalf had arrived home about an hour before, and Ayla would be getting home at around quarter after five. Diane flopped onto the couch, and much to her delight, Haldir sat down by her feet and started to massage said feet.  
  
"So who was this friend you ran into last night?" Haldir asked after a time.  
  
"Someone I used to date. Or, well. Someone my other self used to date. We broke up a year ago. Haven't talked since. We had coffee and caught up with each other," Diane explained. She noticed that Haldir looked a bit tense. "Hey, you look like you need a massage yourself," she said. Haldir looked at her, and smiled.  
  
"You are beautiful," he said. Diane grinned.  
  
"Thank you," she said. "Now come on, it's already five - we should start supper."  
  
So they set to work on supper, and Ayla got in about fifteen minutes later.  
  
"Hey-lo, everyone!" she said as she walked in through the door. "Where's Gandalf?" she asked noticing that he wasn't around.  
  
"Reading in the bedroom," Diane said, looking up from the stove, where she was stirring something in a pot.  
  
"Ah, okay," Ayla said, hanging up her jacket. She walked over to the pot and took a peek in. "Hmmm, spagetti? Have you made the sauce yet?"  
  
"Nope, leaving that to you," Diane said. "Haldir's chopping up the vegetables for it," she added, motioning to Haldir, who was indeed chopping up a green pepper beside the sink. There were two bowls next to him, one full of chopped up red peppers and one with chopped up carrots.  
  
"Good," Ayla said. She went to the fridge and pulled out a cucumber. "You can chop this up, too," she told Haldir, placing it next to him.  
  
"Alright," he said, nodding.  
  
So Ayla started to get the rest of the stuff for her spagetti sauce ready. Once she had a pot with some of the base ingredients on the stove, she turned to Diane. "You," she said. "Where *were* you last night?"  
  
"Met Tom on the street last night," Diane answered. Ayla's eyes widened.  
  
"Didn't you almost ma-"  
  
"Yes, but I didn't," Diane said, cutting off her friend. Suddenly, Ayla's face brightened.  
  
"Dude! There's this song! and it goes 'In the city last week/*I saw Tom on the street*/He looked different/But still Tommy Dool/I said long time no see/How's your sister Maurie/Are her eyes still that intensely bluuuuue/He just laughed for a while/And in our hearts we both smiled/Smiled for Ripperton Rooooooooooooooooo-"  
  
"Ayla, stop singing," Diane laughed. Ayla stuck her tongue out at Diane, but she did stop singing. "Remind me to hide your celtic tapes from now on," Diane added. Ayla laughed.  
  
"Over my dead body," she said, poking Diane and turning back to the sauce.  
  
"I could arrange that," Diane retorted, smirking.  
  
Ayla gaped at her, half smiling. "You're so horrible to me!" she cried, and burst into laughter. Diane joined her.  
  
"Indeed," she giggled. Haldir shook his head in amusement.  
  
"And anyways," Ayla said, still giggling. "I only brought it up because you said you met Tom on the street, and the one line says "I saw Tom on the street". I thought it was fitting."  
  
"Right," Diane said, laughing.  
  
That night the four had a rather pleasant supper, and then they got comfortable in the living room to watch Star Trek: Voyager reruns on the Space channel.  
  
---  
  
A week later, the day before the girls were to meet Katie at the airport, Ayla found out that she was not carrying a single child after all, but was actually pregnant with triplets.  
  
"My Goddess," she said as she and Gandalf and Diane wlaked into the apartment. "I can't believe I'm having triplets." The three walked into the living room and greeted Haldir, who was reading on the couch. "Guess what?" Ayla said to him.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"There are three fetus' in my uterus," Ayla said, grinning. Haldir raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Triplets?"  
  
"Indeed," Gandalf said.  
  
"Have you thought of names yet?" Diane asked. Ayla grinned mischeviously. Diane groaned. "Oh, God, Ayla, what are you gonna call them?"  
  
"Willow Fae, Faith Arwen, and Estel Elijah," Ayla said grinning.  
  
"Estel? Why are you going to name your child Hope?" Haldir asked.  
  
"Because it's a nice name. So there," Ayla retorted.   
  
"How do you know it's two girls and a boy?" Diane asked. Ayla shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. I do. Mom knew she what gender her kids were going to be whenever she got pregnant. Guess I'm the same."  
  
Diane giggled.  
  
"What are you giggling about?" Ayla asked her.  
  
"I can't believe you're gonna name your kids Willow, Faith, and *Estel*," she said. "Any LotR fan is gonna know why you named Estel 'Estel'. You sure you wanna do that?"  
  
Ayla stuck her tongue out at her.  
  
"What is LotR?" Gandalf asked.  
  
"Nothing," Diane said, grinning innocently.  
  
"I'm taking a nap," Ayla announced, and retreated into her room.  
  
---  
  
The next day, the four went to the airport to pick up Katie. They got to the airport about an hour before her plane arrived, so that they could let Haldir and Gandalf explore the place. They found it incredibly interesting, and couldn't believe that machines made out of metal, that were that incredibly heavy, could actually fly in the sky. That is, they didn't believe it until they actually saw one of the planes take off.   
  
They were, to say the least, shocked.  
  
Finally, Katie's plane landed, and they helped her collect her baggage and then they walked out to the parking lot and then all piled in to Ayla's car.  
  
"So, you got transported back to the same day you left?" Ayla asked Katie as they left the airport.  
  
"Yep," Katie answered. "But when I asked Diane about it, she had no clue what I was talking about, so I assumed either I had had a *really* wonky dream, or that there was a copy of you, or something like that, in Middle Earth."  
  
"Well, it was definately another version of us," Diane said. "We're assuming, and hoping, that the same thing happened when Gandalf and Haldir showed up here. That they have dopplegangers in Middle Earth."  
  
"Oh hey! Guess what, Katie?" Ayla suddenly said, grinning like an idiot.  
  
"What?" Katie said slowly. When Ayla grinned like an idiot, she was prone to tell you something incredibly odd.  
  
"Gandalf knocked me up with triplets!"  
  
The car's inhabitants were silent for a few moments, and then Diane and Ayla giggled, and Haldir and Gandalf chuckled. Katie looked rather surprised, and then laughed, herself.  
  
"My God - you're having triplets?" she exclaimed.  
  
"Yep - and you can blame Gandalf for that."  
  
"Wow. Verile old fool, aintcha?" Katie laughed, poking Gandalf, who rolled his eyes and laughed. "So what about you?" Katie said, turning to Haldir. "Any plans for getting my sister pregnant?"  
  
Diane choked on the air she was breathing. "NO," she said firmly. Haldir chuckled.  
  
"Well, there you have your answer!" he said, smirking. Katie laughed.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
They got back to the apartment, and then ate and set up the couch-bed for Katie.  
  
---  
  
The next morning at breakfast, Ayla commented that Katie looked pretty tired. Katie snorted.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night," she answered.  
  
"Oh? What was wrong?" Diane asked.  
  
"I could here these two going at it like monkeys all night," Katie answered, gesturing towards Ayla and Gandalf. Gandalf and Ayla both turned different shades of red. Diane and Haldir smirked. Katie shrugged.  
  
"Uh, sorry?" Ayla said. Katie grinned.  
  
Ayla had the day off that day, so the five went out for a while. They went to the museum and made fun of the security guards, much to Haldir and Gandalf's dismay. But Gandalf and Haldir did learn a thing or two about Earth's history. After going through the museum, Gandalf realised just *how* incredibly horrible the map of Earth Ayla and Diane had drawn for him back in Middle Earth really was.  
  
Then they went to the science center and had fun with the exhibits there. Gandalf and Haldir found the exhibits incredibly interesting. They both poured over the flight exhibit, since after seeing the airplanes, they were quite intrigued. Then they took them to see the animals, and while Ayla and Diane were cooing over the iguana, which was climbing up Ayla's leg, Haldir and Gandalf were examining the boa constrictor. Katie was checking out the bats they had on display.  
  
And then they stopped at Blockbuster to pick up a movie to watch that night - they ended up getting two: Dogma and a new release, Angel's Don't Like Cheese.  
  
After that, they went home, since it was getting pretty late. They had a quick supper and then sat down to watch the movies. After the movies, they turned in for the night, expecting a nice, peaceful sleep.  
  
Well. Katie wasn't sure she'd get a nice, peaceful sleep, but she was hoping Ayla and Gandalf would take the night off, so she had *hopes* that she would have a nice, peaceful sleep.  
  
=============  
  
Don't own Star Trek: Voyager - that belongs to Mr Roddenberry, or whoever it is that owns star trek now. Don't own the space channel. not sure who does. i'm sure www.spacecast.com has that info, but im too lazy to go see. also, I don't own blockbuster. would be cool if I did. :D  
  
The song that Ayla sang from in this chapter was "Ripperton Road" by West of Eden. Gods, I love my mom's celtic CD's. :D  
  
And don't ask how I came up with the name "Angel's Don't Like Cheese". Just look at some of the movie titles *these* days - whaddaya think they'll be like in three years? lol.  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


	11. The End

One Hell of a Birthday  
Part Two: Back in Regular Earth  
  
==============  
Chapter Eleven:  
==============  
  
"Oh, I don't wanna grow up! I'm a Toys 'R' Us kid!" Ayla sang, bouncing in through the door. She flipped the light on and decided she should probably shut up, since everyone else was asleep. Unfortunately for Katie, since she was sleeping in the living room, she was woken up by Ayla's jovial homecoming.  
  
"What the hell are you so excited about?" she groaned from the living room.  
  
"Sorry for wakin' ya up, Katie," Ayla said, walking into the living room to stand next to the couch-bed. "Today was my last class. Now I've got a whole summer ahead of me before I have to go back to class, and then I'll have my degree! I'm so happy to not have schoooooool! Although I'll probably forgot everything before the summer's over." Ayla grinned.  
  
"Well, good for you. Now go away and let me sleep," Katie laughed. "I'll talk to you in the morning."  
  
"G'night, Katie," Ayla said with a laugh. She retreated to her room, but not before hearing Katie mumble somehting about 'damn nightclass-taking people'.  
  
The next morning, Ayla was up before everyone else, amazingly. She set happily to work making toast and fried eggs for breakfast. The smell of cooking food soon woke everyone else in the apartment up, and the kitchen got pretty full pretty quickly.  
  
"Ack! I can barely move," Ayla commented, as she put some eggs and toast on a plate and handed it to Gandalf.  
  
"There does seem to be very little room to move about in here," he stated.  
  
"Gandalf, stop talking. You're impossible to understand in the morning," Diane mumbled through the food in her mouth. A piece of half-chewed egg decided that it wanted to discover the world beyond her mouth and landed on the back of Haldir's head. He didn't notice, so Diane just moved over a bit, and acted innocent.  
  
After a bit, everyone dispersed throughout the apartment, although there wasn't all that much to disperse through. Two bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen isn't exactly a lot of room when you've got five people to house.  
  
Ayla quickly showered and changed into her waitressing uniform before calling a round of good-byes and heading off to work. Gandalf headed off for his walk, joined by Haldir this time, and Diane sat down for a few hours of work at her computer. Katie wandered around the apartment, bugging Diane and generally being the hoverbug that sisters are.  
  
The next few days went pretty much the same, and nothing of any interest happened.  
  
---  
  
On Friday morning, Ayla was once again up before everyone else, but she was not to be found in the kitchen. Unfortunately for her, she was kneeling in the bathroom, head hanging in the toilet, gagging up the contents of her stomach. That is where Gandalf found her.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked, poking his head in the door.  
  
"Morning sickness," Ayla mumbled. "I was hoping it wouldn't hit, but alas, my dreams have been shattered."  
  
Gandalf chuckled. "Would you like me to make you breakfast?" he offered.  
  
Ayla moaned. "Don't talk about food," she groaned. "I don't think I can hand-" she stopped talking and proceeded to gag into the toilet.  
  
"I apologise," Gandalf said. "I'll get you a glass of water."  
  
"That'd be good," Ayla mumbled.  
  
Soon after, the rest of the household woke up and found out that the bathroom was off limits until about eleven o' clock, when Ayla finally emerged from the room. She had cleaned up and showered and looked okay, although still pale.  
  
"You feeling okay?" Diane asked.  
  
"I should be able to make it to work this afternoon, but I still feel like monkey feces," Ayla grumbled, pouring herself a glass of water. Diane smiled and patted her back.  
  
"It'll pass," she said.  
  
"It better, or I'll blame Gandalf." Ayla walked out of the kitchen, and towards the bedroom, mumbling 'you shall not pass,' under her breath.  
  
===  
  
So eight months later, and after twenty-three hours of labour, Ayla was exhausted, and had three new people to add to her family tree.  
  
About a week later, she was out of bed and making her own meals again; although Gandalf usually sent her back to bed and finished making the meal for her.   
  
And then, because this Author cant write on the story anymore, and will dissapoint everyone anyways, Ayla and Gandalf and Haldir and Diane, and the triplets too, y'all, lived happily ever after.  
  
[And Estel grew up to hate his name and later changed it to David.]  
  
================  
  
yes. I suck. I know. :P  
  
-SplendiferGoddess 


End file.
